Got Holiday Stress in the home? Here are some helpful strategies (excerpt reprinted from The Union Newspaper):
When it comes to home life, the number of domestic violence incidents are "off the charts this time of year," said Veronica Monet, a Nevada City anger management specialist.
"There's a high expectation - people have waited all year to have 'fun,'" she said. "Expectations are a problem. It's better to let go of expectations and instead be of service. Try to be helpful and positive to those you love most."
When family members push each other's buttons, Monet reminds her clients that they always have a choice when it comes to how they react.
"Very few people are truly out of control when it comes to anger," she said. "For example, you would probably choose not to hit a cop or verbally abuse him. We are capable of choices."
Monet advises taking the following steps when anger flares up: First, acknowledge that you have a choice when it comes to your behavior and take responsibility for being in control. Second, learn to recognize your body symptoms when angry, such as holding breath, spitting when talking or clenching your jaw or fists. Third, take a "time out" or time away from the person with whom you are angry.
"This isn't like a kid's time out - you pre-negotiate with your partner regarding how long you'll need," Monet said. "I'm not talking about walking away and refusing to talk. You need to take time out to build compassion for yourself and the other person. That will help you approach the situation differently. Finally, take responsibility for coming back to the topic that you abandoned. If you're still not ready, make a date to talk about it."
Veronica Monet, ACS, CAM