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I love music! I have been singing since I was conceived, or at least it seems like it. Coming from a musically involved family, this is not a big surprise.
As some of you may know, I am involved with my city's chorus. We perform twice each year at Ruth Eckerd Hall, where all the big name entertainers perform when they come to town.
Why do I mention these facts? Well you see, after we finished our dress rehearsal for our Cabaret setting performance - I was dressed as a flapper and yeah, I am a ham - we headed back to the chorus waiting room for final instructions.
When I got there, I overheard a veteran chorus member telling a new member that she was not dressed appropriately. Then the veteran turned to me and said, "You're wearing black stockings." She continued to speak, turning back towards the new member standing nearby, and telling her, "You should wear black stockings too!"
I was aghast at her behavior. As I looked in the new member's eyes, a look of embarrassment and shock overtook her. What the seasoned chorus member did is something we, as business owners, must not to do when dealing with others with whom we work. That brings me to the reason for this article.
What is the proper way to deal with an employee or colleague when correction or instruction is called for? Here are seven rules of engagement that will ensure you don't fall into the same trap.
1. Consider your level of authority
The first and most important thing you need to do is ensure you are the right person for the job. If you are on the same level as the person needing advice, stop dead in your tracks. Unless you are that person's manager or direct supervisor, be very cautious about speaking. It is not your place to instruct or advise your peers. That is the job of the supervisor, or in the case I've cited, it is the responsibility of the director of the chorus.
2. Take it to the top
Go to the person who has the proper level of authority and bring your concern to him or her, rather than voicing your opinions to your peers. Your supervisor is the only one who has the right and the authority, as well as the years of training in how to deal with difficult situations properly. That person can make sure things are done according to the standards the group or company has set in their rules or by-laws.
3. Your surroundings matter
Never, ever give correction when others are near. This can and does cause not only embarrassment, but often animosity as well. If it is indeed your place to correct this individual, give them courtesy and respect and take them aside to offer your advice. This will be much appreciated by the recipient. And they may even take your advice to heart.
4. Begin and end on a positive note
It is well understood that we all thrive on compliments and praise. In order to soften a rebuke, start with a positive remark. Then move onto the issue at hand. Be careful to end the conversation with some words of encouragement.
5. Don't coddle or berate
Keep your authority intact. While correcting others it is easy to want to try to make them comfortable at the onset. Be sure you don't bring yourself down to a peer-to-peer level.
Keep your air of authority, but don't be overbearing. Be careful not to cross the line from being the authority to being a bully. Be kind, but firm.
6. Listen
Give subordinates the chance to explain their side of an issue, if they have one. Listen attentively to what they are saying. Whatever you do, show them the respect they deserve by not interrupting them. Don't formulate your response before you've heard what they have to say.
7. Keep it to yourself
Once the meeting is completed, don't discuss it in public. What is said in private should always remain in private. Any further discussion with unrelated parties can be seen as gossip. That would only undermine your authority. The golden rule is: Don't repeat in public what's been said in private.
There you have it. Seven rules of business etiquette for when you find yourself having to handle issues that come up with colleagues and subordinates.
Even if you're not in a business setting, these are wise words to take into consideration.
© Copyright 2015 Ginger Marks
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