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Being Who We Want to Be
"Is there anything in particular you learned that you didn't know when we started?" This is a question I like to ask at the end of a conversation or other group process that I facilitate. Sometimes people scratch their heads first, but after a little reflection, they gladly share what they have learned. Consider, for example, being near the end of a long team conversation in which a manager said to her boss: "I learned that you really care." She learned that her boss really is invested in the people of his organization even though he doesn't readily express gratitude and appreciation. Being conscious of and articulating what she had learned gave her an opening to change some erroneous assumptions about her boss. Plus, she provided him an opportunity to learn something about his style that he would not have understood otherwise. When people ask for the services of Fearless Conversations, they usually are looking for change of one kind or another in their organization. We all know, though, in our heart-of-hearts that real change happens in ourselves as individuals first. Change happens when we take responsibility for being who we want to be. When we raise our awareness about what we learn in our interactions with one another, we grow our capacity for empathy - for ourselves and for one another. It's the empathy advantage. As Bill Nye says, "We can do things great!" | 
