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Welcome to the Fearless Conversations newsletter -- information and ideas that may inspire us all to do what we can to create a world in which fearless conversations are possible in families, among friends, in the workplace and organizations.
Thank you for reading!
Shyrl
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Hearing Test
There's a hearing gauge I like to use with groups I facilitate. The gauge is the outcome or outcomes of the particular meeting, gathering or conversation. I usually say something like: "I hope the quality of our listening to one another will be such that we come away with ideas, initiatives, next steps or decisions that no one had thought of before coming here."
"Of course!", you might say, "that's what meetings are for!" Yes, but those kinds of meetings don't happen easily. By our very nature, we typically go to meetings with our own agendas in mind, our questions for which we want answers, our experience we depend on, our thought-out opinions, our visions of preferred outcomes. We come prepared! Indeed, we must!
However from my facilitator "perch", I see meetings, gatherings, conversations as special moments in time. Whoever we are - together - at that moment - has never happened before and will never happen again. Whether or not this special moment is fresh, satisfying and creative depends on how we listen to one another. You might say this is where the hearing test comes in.
As James O'Dea reminds us in his book Cultivating Peace, we engage in a full spectrum of listening, but not all listening gives us the satisfaction of being heard or of hearing others.
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Kinds of Listening
| What we hear
| Transactional
| right or wrong answers to simple questions
| Cognitive-process
| complex information to be applied in some way
| Emotional-outcome
| responses that trigger feelings, spoken or unspoken
| Postural
| viewpoints as compared to one's own
| Inquiry
| new ideas and information, fresh insights
| Heart-centered
| what is alive in someone, seen and heard without judgment
| Integral
| whatever we take in when we synchronize mind and body, head and heart to listen
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Integral listening is mastery, says O'Dea: "It arises from deep conscious awareness and remains open in the face of turbulent egos and emotionality. It is detached, but not disengaged. It permits insightful silence and listens to its content. It is not reactive or particularly emotive, but in the presence of this form of listening, your whole being feels seen and heard."
Life requires us to use all of these kinds of listening, but it's only when we intentionally enlist inquiry, heart-centered and integral listening that we truly are prepared to meet with one another and to have fearless conversations.
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| About Fearless Conversations
Fearless Conversations serves non-profit organizations, schools, faith communities and small/mid-size businesses. Typical requests are for design and facilitation of visioning or team-building retreats, strategic planning, meeting facilitation, transition planning, decision-making processes.
650-218-2861
513 Alameda de las Pulgas, Belmont, CA 94002
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