Shyrl

 

Reacting like Joe and Mary did is one of the things that we typically fear in a professional meeting or even in personal conversations.  Actually, before this meeting, a number of the participants had talked to me about their disappointment that a lot of their members seem to shut down and choose to keep quiet, rather than talk about things that might trigger reactivity.  The beauty in this situation was that Joe and Mary did not shut down; they moved away from their defending, attacking and blaming to hear what mattered most to each other.  Joe eventually heard how worried Mary was not to have the information she was expecting.  Her anxiety had to do with a much larger set of circumstances than what Joe represented.  Mary could see that Joe was reporting in the framework he had been given; the source of her anxiety was beyond his area of responsibility.

How did this reactive exchange between Mary and Joe serve the purpose of the group?  For starters, they both voiced appreciation for the courage it took to speak to each other out of their reactive stances.  Without intending to, they raised up the implications of an agenda item that everyone came to see had much more import than what the group had been giving it.  Now an issue that might have gone untended was given its due so that significant action could be taken.  Joe and Mary "hit a chord" for everyone. Their courage stirred up courage in the group to face the tough issue and start talking about it with realism, creativity, reason and empathy.  

  

I am continuing to offer Fearless Conversations explorations into how we can talk to one another about political, religious and social issues that we typically avoid in conversation for one reason or another. 

I continue to appreciate how people show up willing to explore, with precious little information about what they are coming to!  Participants bring their experiences, hopes, stories, questions, curiosity, and, many times, humor.

These explorations are set-up by a co-host -- someone who volunteers to invite people from his or her network and arranges for an hospitable place to gather.  Typically, a gathering is 1.5 - 2 hours.

I would love to talk with you about co-hosting one or more of these explorations.  Please contact me at 650-218-2861 or shyrl@fearlessconversations.org.