For whatever reason, in the last month, I've been taken with the song "Happy" by Pharrell Williams.   It seems to be "everywhere".  It makes me happy!  It also makes me think of one of the goals of Nonviolent Communication: to make life wonderful for one another.  Certainly, we are all responsible for our own happiness, but we sure can make life wonderful when we invite others, as the song says, to "clap along"!  

I have a Fearless Conversations dream: that our organizations and workplaces - businesses, schools, churches, service agencies, whatever they are - be places where we all give the best of what we've got without holding back - AND - that the energy we generate be like that of the people who sing and dance with Williams in the video.

You may have noticed that "Happy" is now embedded as a subliminal message in a number of advertisements.  There's strategic intention in that!  The advertisers know the importance of the "happiness factor".  Is the happiness factor in the organizations and workplaces you know?  How is it supported?  How does it grow? 

Thank you to the people who contribute to the happiness factor in our lives!

As a simple follow-up to April's newsletter theme of empathy, here is a tool that clients find helpful.  I found it a few years ago in Marie Miyashiro's book The Empathy Factor. The tool is the acronym WAIT.  I have adapted it a bit.  Any one or all of the four applications are helpful when we want to give extra care to how we are connecting with someone so we can empathize with them.

Stop to consider if what I am about to say is going to contribute (or not) to the quality of my connection [e.g. with another person, with participants in a meeting, etc.].  Consider if listening might be best.

Pause for a moment.  Pay attention to how my thinking about a situation, in which I feel triggered, influences my words and actions.  Suspend judgment.  Consider my choices about how I will speak or act.

Discern whether or not the reality of what is happening is really quite different from what I tell myself about it.  Consider doing a reality check.

Ask myself if I know what the other person is feeling?  Do I know what matters most to him/ her in this situation?  If not, ask them!

The practice of giving and receiving empathy is central to a Fearless Conversations Retreat. In most workplaces and organizations where I facilitate processes and meetings, people are doing their best to do their jobs, participate in numerous meetings, and interface with their public - all while living the rest of their lives, as well.  They tolerate and manage stress coming at them from many directions.  It is a gift to take some time away from work to support one another, to give and receive empathy.  In a Fearless Conversations Retreat participants give their attention to opportunities to create openness, trust, enjoyment, ease, kindness and fun together.

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