TIME magazine had as its February 3 cover article a short piece on "The Mindful Revolution - the Science of Finding Focus in a Stressed-out, Multi-Tasking Culture".  The ultimate goal of mindfulness "is simply to give your attention fully to what you're doing."  I particularly liked the author's suggestion to think of our attention as a muscle.  "As with any muscle, it makes sense to exercise it.  Like any muscle, it will strengthen from that exercise."    

    

When it happens, mindful communication is like a breath of fresh air.  Fearless Conversations Retreats provide an opportunity for colleagues and co-workers to breathe this fresh air and infuse it into their organization. Participants are offered an array of practices which strengthen a group's "attention muscle".  There is a perceptible change in people by the end of the retreat.  They may come a bit tense, tired, stressed, worried; they leave relaxed, enthused, stimulated, reassured.  Often they come with obvious defensiveness which shifts to understanding which makes collaboration easier.

In most workplaces and organizations where I facilitate processes and meetings, people are doing their best to do their jobs, participate in numerous meetings, and interface with their public - all while living the rest of their lives, as well.  They tolerate and manage stress coming at them from many directions.  It is a gift to take some time away from work to support one another. In a Fearless Conversations Retreat participants give their attention to opportunities to create openness, trust, enjoyment, ease, kindness and fun together. An investment in a Fearless Conversations Retreat is an investment in an organization's health.

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Does it ever seem to you that the expression "push back" is more prevalent these days?  "I'm getting some push back about my decision."  "He got push back from them; he doesn't know what to do now."  "She's getting push back for not . . . ".  If a physical therapist says to us "push back", they're testing our muscle, our strength.  When we experience push back from others, they are testing their muscle, their strength - their power to be heard, to be understood, to matter.  "Push back" is an invitation to change what we hear.  We can't change what other people say, but we can change what we hear.  If we are the one experiencing the push back, we can release our defensive hold on our judgments so that they don't carry the day.  Push back is a time to ask ourselves: What matters to me right now?  What matters to them?  It's time to do all we can to stay in the present moment with curiosity and not judge. 

If we let it, push back shuts down talking to one another, makes us defensive and wastes our energy.
We can push back "push back" by exercising our attention muscle: "Can you tell me more about why you think . . .?"  "I'm confused by [your reaction].  It would help me to know why [ . . . . ] is important to you?" 

More often than not, we can at least appreciate, if not agree with, one another's cares and concerns.  Experiencing push back is a time to lean in toward others and stretch our muscles for fearless conversations.

"If you don't go after what you want, you'll never have it.  If you don't ask, the answer is always no.  If you don't step forward, you're always in the same place." 

In the spirit of these words from an unknown author, I am venturing out in this newsletter to ask you for some referrals, connections, leads.  Thanks to you, I have enjoyed exciting and interesting facilitation projects  since I started Fearless Conversations a few years ago.  Something I would really love to facilitate is what Appreciative Inquiry calls a "summit".  A summit is a process designed to involve as many people as possible, in as large of a cross-section of an organization as possible.  It is a wonderful process for a community or an organization to celebrate a milestone, transition to new leadership, initiate a change.  Because of its comprehensive involvement of stakeholders and its focus on strengths, the summit process can achieve amazing results in a few hours or a few days.  I am most familiar with the summit process in faith communities, but it actually got its start in businesses.  I love this process for its high energy, creativity, leadership development, fun, hopefulness and efficient use of time.  If my asking stirs in you any ideas or possibilities, I'd be grateful if you would call or e-mail me.  Many thanks!

A friend and reader of this newsletter recently shared
an alternate Serenity Prayer.  Enjoy!  

God, grant me the serenity
to accept the people I cannot change,
the courage to change the one I can,
and the wisdom to know it's me.