Shyrl

 

Frankie is our beautiful blue parakeet who died last week. He flew around and entertained my husband (Pat) and me up to his final minutes.  So what?!   A lot of us have had pets and pets die.  Well, Frankie was in our family for 15 years and 5 months - far longer than any other parakeet we have ever had.  For that matter, he lived twice as many years as most parakeets do.  He was a large little being who I want to honor for all of his time with us.  Here are just two of my take-away's from Frankie.  You will have your own from your pets or other live beings you have encountered with delight and wonder.

It's a "Heart Thing".
Frankie weighed less than two ounces.  How can a tiny being like that make a big impact on a human heart?  I think it's because we -- all of us -- we are life -- we are one -- maybe one heart.  Not too long ago, in a moment of spontaneous, simple, heart-felt appreciation, Pat declared: "Frankie, you're a prince!"  We continued to call him a prince because that seemed to be an apt expression of our gratitude for all the ways Frankie connected with us and trusted us and made us laugh with his antics.  For all of the time he was with us we got to learn new ways to relate to him and he to us.  "Prince" was a recognition of Frankie's own kind of dignity and sweetness and his contribution to our living.  We have lots of stories about Frankie that make most people just roll their eyes.  It doesn't matter.  Wherever they come from, the stories we have in our hearts keep love alive.  It's really as true as the song says:  "What the world needs now is love -- sweet love . . ."  Simple, complicated, true.

Gentle Down
Some years ago a friend told me about the technique of "gentling down" which comes from the world of domesticating (or as I prefer, partnering with) wild horses. Though far from the world of wild horses, I love the notion of gentling down.  Frankie was a natural at getting me to gentle down just by his eyes and body language.  In his usual state of well-being, he would stand on one foot with his feathers slightly fluffed up, soft and relaxed, looking directly at me.  If, for some reason, I came near in an agitated state, Frankie would get into a long, skinny mode, looking like he was on the defense and unsafe, with his eyes averted and "on alert".  Such an instant clear request to me to gentle down, "get a grip", and re-focus!  Would that I could just as quickly pick up cues to gentle down in all of my human encounters!

We named Frankie in honor of St. Francis of Assisi because he came to live with us on the feast of St. Francis, October 4.  No matter if we come from a religious tradition or not, St. Francis of Assisi has universal appeal, as does the prayer for peace connected with him.  In honor of Frankie, may we recall our intention to be instruments of peace.  May we sow love where there is hatred, pardon where there is injury, faith where there is doubt, hope where there's despair, light where there is darkness and joy where there is sadness.  May we "not so much seek to be consoled as to console; to be understood as to understand, to be loved as to love . . ."

Sometimes, in a world that astounds us with a spectrum of human behaviors from horrifying to uplifting, it is good to have beings like Frankie who remind us to gentle down and listen to our hearts.  Thank you, Frankie, little prince.

  

On March 7, 10:00 - 12:00, we enjoyed our first Fearless Conversations exploration into how we can talk to one another about political, religious and social issues that we typically avoid in conversation for one reason or another.  I am very grateful to Kay McMullen, SNDdeN, who co-hosted and to the eighteen people who responded to her invitation.   Kay emailed invitations to her network and arranged for us to gather in a comfortable, hospitable space. 

While we mentioned a variety of issues and situations that are of concern to us, we shared in common a number of values and needs that really matter to all of us.  Here are a few:
-  being in a safe zone where we are able to risk
-  harmony at a meaningful level
-  listening and being heard
-  mutual respect and being accepted
-  information, education, clarity, learning
-  deep understanding; being open and non-judgmental
-  honesty
-  sense of humor
-  truth
One need we came back to many times is the need "to be still within oneself".  It was as if to say that we must give the time and intention to insuring that the values and needs (on the above list) are alive within ourselves to have them alive in our conversations with others.

We took some time to pay attention to the judgments we make of ourselves and others, many being variations on the typical polarizations of wrong - right, negative - positive, stuck - open.  We talked about the courage it takes to interact, but, that if we don't interact, we become fixed in our opinions and reenforce the logjam of non-communication.  We ended with some suggestions of practices and tools to use to open up communication.

Personally, I really appreciated that people showed up willing to explore, with precious little information about what they were coming to!  They brought some very special ingredients: their experiences, hopes, stories, questions, curiosity, humor.