Elaine and her family: (from left) husband Vic, and sons David  and Anthony.

by Elaine Mansfield

"I miss Dad," I told Mom after my father died when I was 14. "I don't know what to do."

"I can't talk about it," Mom said. "I have to go to work.   I can't cry."  

My only brother returned to college while Mom withdrew into a shell of sorrow. I grieved alone.

No one shared funny or sad memories. There was no photo of Dad in our home. I remember his empty chair at the dining room table and the hollow feeling in my chest. I felt isolated, disconnected from my father and everyone.

"Let's not tell anyone until we know exactly what's going on," my husband Vic suggested when doctors suspected cancer in 2006.

"I can't do that," I said. "We need to tell our sons and friends. We don't have to do this alone." Vic agreed.

To read more, click here.

Elaine's New Group Starting Soon

In April, Elaine will lead a new four-week series of Standing in Our New Lives: A Bereavement Group for Women Who Have Lost Partners or Spouses.  

For more information click here or visit the event section of the Hospicare website. 

On Sunday, March 9, 2014, Whole Animal Veterinary Geriatrics & Veterinary Hospice Services will host Ithaca's 2nd Annual Community Pet Memorial Service at the Carriage House Cafe in Ithaca.  

Last year, Dr. Katherine Goldberg of Whole Animal, along with Cornell vet students, organized the inaugural Community Pet Memorial Service. Around 40 people were present. Guests brought photos or other mementos of their deceased pets, shared stories and lit candles in remembrance. They celebrated the lives of dogs, cats, and one guinea pig.

"We each grieve in our own ways," says Melissa Travis Dunham, who attended last year's memorial service. " But there can be comfort from shared grief. It was clear that we were among kindred spirits. No one said 'It's OK, you can get another dog,' or 'Why are you crying? It was just a guinea pig!' We did not know each other or our pets, but we all knew the sorrow."

Anyone grieving the death of a pet is welcomed to attend the 2nd Annual Memorial Service.  

For more information, click here.