The support of our community is central to Hospicare's existence, and so we are extremely grateful to all those businesses and individuals who sponsored community fundraisers to benefit Hospicare during the holiday season--and to all those in our community who participated. Thank you for joining us in our work to bring comfort and support to those at the end of life, as well as to their families and friends.

• Contemporary Trends offers $200 off the purchase of a stressless chair and $400 off Wing and Eagle recliners to customers who donate $50 or more to Hospicare--now through January 14.
• 15 STEPS donated 10% of proceeds from Thanksgiving weekend sales to Hospicare.
• Danby Federated Church designated Hospicare as the recipient of funds raised through the sale of 150 handmade Christmas wreaths.
• Seda Gurbanova held a bake sale as part of the Alternatives Federal Credit Union Holiday Market and donated the proceeds to Hospicare.
• Brookdale Senior Living--Clare Bridge held a paper drive and donated many large boxes of toilet paper, Kleenex, paper plates, napkins, paper towels and copy paper to Hospicare.

by Josh Swiller

One of the things that makes hospice special is our belief that patients should be where they want to be. Yes, we have a residence building at Hospicare, but we do all we can to ensure that patients can stay in their own residences if they choose--whether that means a single-family house, or a senior living or nursing facility. To ensure that happens, Hospicare works behind the scenes to keep our partnerships with doctors, facilities and other health care providers as strong as possible.

That is my role as Hospicare's provider relations specialist. This fall I worked with others at Hospicare to introduce a new program to strengthen our partnerships with health care providers: a comprehensive educational series on hospice-related issues offered free to every health care provider and facility in Tompkins County.

As part of that program, on a blustery morning in November, I accompanied our nurse practitioner, Jane Schantz, to a nursing care facility where she gave a presentation to nurses and aides on chronic pain in hospice patients. Jane patiently explained the different approaches and many intricacies in gauging patient pain levels, as well as responding appropriately to them. She gave the audience illustrative examples from her nine years of hospice work to help them grasp the concepts. At the end, she reminded everyone that Hospicare was always available 24/7 if they had a question or concern.

I especially enjoyed seeing the nurses' and aides' eyes light up at this reminder that our intention is to work together and support each other as best we can. It was a wonderful feeling to know that this might translate into better care for those at the end of life. That is Hospicare's overriding goal.

Debra Bradley Ruder, a communications professional based at Dana-Farber Cancer Institute in Boston, writes a blog called Goodbyes, which focuses on saying farewell at the end of life. As a writer and blogger, she has spoken to many people about end-of-life issues, and especially about that last goodbye. Here are some of the "tips" she passes on for having that last conversation.

• Know that a goodbye can take many different forms--like a touch or a song or building a fire for your ailing dad--and doesn't have to involve the actual word "goodbye."
• Take your cues from the dying person. Some people don't want to exchange goodbyes, while others welcome the chance.
• Say "thank you, I love you, I forgive you, and please forgive me," as recommended by Ira Byock M.D. in his book, The Four Things That Matter Most. 
• Bring a few photos or other mementos (scrapbooks, CDs, etc) and talk to the dying person about them.
• Offer to help the dying person compose a letter to someone important in his or her life.
• Remember that saying goodbye can mean letting someone go.

For more information, tips and stories about saying goodbye, visit Debra Bradley Ruder's blog, Goodbyes.  

• Evening Bereavement Support Group: 1/2 & 1/16, 5:30-7:00 PM
• Mindfulness Practice: Wednesdays, 7:30-9:00 PM
• Tuesday Lunch Group: 1/8, Noon 
• Women Singin': 1/8 (meeting 2nd Tuesday due to New Years Day), 5:30-7:00 PM 
• Wednesday Breakfast Group: 1/23, 8:30 AM