When the Religious Education Committee went on their planning retreat last March, we decided that our goal and theme for the year would be "Interconnectedness of All Things".  This is also our Unitarian Universalist seventh principle which is stated as "respect for the interdependent web of all existence of which we are a part."

We began to plan events which allowed the children opportunities to look all the many circles of connections that they have around them, beginning with themselves and moving outward . knowing what is meaningful and special about themselves and how to vocalize those rare traits, and share with family, friends...and wider community.  We know that one day our young people will be sharing their gifts with the world, but what better way to strengthen the knowledge and nurturing of those gifts than to share them, and practice connecting  with others while doing so.

The idea of a "Mystery Pal" event emerged during the REC retreat as well, and Jenny DelGizzi was all over it!  She loved the idea and dove into it with full steam.  We thought the Mystery Pal program would be fun and help with multi-generational connection in the church.  We were so pleasantly surprised at the outcome.

The Pals began writing letters to each other, telling bits about their identity.  They shared descriptions of what they loved to do, where they grew up, what they were like as a child.  They would give "clues" about their deeper selves to keep their identity sort of mysterious.  Each week, the pals shared more and more information. They sent pictures of their favorite movies, trinkets from collections they had, photographs of themselves as children...things were getting deeper.  And finally, after two thwarted attempts due to snow...the BIG REVEAL happened and each "pal" was united with their very own  mysterious pen pal...and had a chance to talk more and go a little deeper.

Here's a mystery: Why is it easier to connect with another when it is facilitated? Does it always take a "ice breaker" game or a  structured "getting- to- know -you " program to get people to go further than a "hello" in the hallway?  I think it's often a challenging thing to do on your own .  There is anxiety surrounding meeting someone new and trying to establish what can be considered a friendship.  What if that person rejects your attempts?  What if you don't have the "time" for that longer conversation in coffee hour that could emerge.  What if you are judged when you share deeper parts of yourself?

I think the ability to make friends and build relationships beyond the casual acquaintance level is a skill that takes practice.   Sure, some people are natural, extroverts and friend-makers...most of us are not.  The beauty of being a part of a church community like ours , is that it gives us a safe space to practice getting to know someone better.  Our church is conducive to the programs that can build relationships, like the Coming of Age teen and mentor program, book groups , meditation groups,  and various outreach opportunities where you work together and grow to know each other better as you do. 

We will run Mystery Pal again next year...because it is highly  focused on allowing people in different generations to get to know one another.  I hope that , in addition to the facilitated opportunities, we all can learn to open ourselves up a little more, and take that leap of courage to connect deeper with another.  We will help you practice, too ...and the outcome with be a lesson in love and respect.  

With Love and Connection,

Robin