Every other year, I teach a mask making session with  Coming of Age class and their mentors.  It is a really fun experience for most of the participants.  Going into the process, the mentors and their COA teens don't think a lot about the metaphor behind the activity and its many "layers" (and there are so many layers).  Mostly what they have on their minds is how plaster-splattered their clothing could get, how "gross" it will feel when their mentors slather their faces with petroleum jelly, how weird it will feel when the wet plaster strips are applied, and when those same strips begin to harden within minutes.   The magical time, for me,  is when the activity is done,  the faces are cleaned, the floor is swept and we talk about how it felt to go through the process.  The layers emerge. 

So, why do we do this exercise?  Yes, it is a challenge to go through the sensory experience of having your face covered with plaster.  It is a bonding ritual when another human being touches your face. Mostly it is very cool to have a life mask that you can keep forever : your young middle school face frozen in time.  But the real reason has to do with the whole purpose behind running a Coming of Age program at this church.  That purpose :  knowing your true and authentic self , and trying to hold onto that knowing as you move from your more innocent, child-like years toward adulthood.

   

I asked the teens to describe how it felt to have that mask made onto their face.  One answered that it was hard to smile with the mask on, another felt itchy, some felt relaxed,  another said he couldn't speak. Further discussion revealed that  their face felt like it was crackling, or slimy, and  many just felt "gross"  (the popular word of the day).   Then when the plaster hardened enough, they tested their mask by running their fingers around the edges and trying to wriggle their face while they lifted the mask ever- so- gently.  The mask finally would let go from the greasy face, sometimes with a pop of suction letting go.   I heard  two descriptions of this experience:  "like hatching from an egg", and  another teen said they felt "brand new."

We all wear masks, you simply can't get around it .  There are the innocent ones that just help you be a better employee, friend, student, and  first date!  Even though we may have something tough going on underneath, most of us try to maintain that pleasant mask when we are at work or school .  We try to put our best foot forward when meeting someone new.  All of us want to be loved, or at least liked and tolerated.  Masks can be useful in that way.  Masks can protect us from being hurt, or being laughed at, said one student.  That is a mask that many teens will be wearing most frequently.  The mask that makes them fit in easily with others. 

I shared with the class , that as a teen and young adult , I owned more masks than I do now.  Another adult agreed with me and said that as we get older,  we care less about what people think of us.   I wondered out loud how different some of our lives would have been, if we let our "fitting in" mask slip off our face earlier in our lives.  I explained to the teens that the goal of  this COA class would  be to help them feel more comfortable in their own "skin." They could start right now in the elimination of "protection" masks.  I help young teens practice what it feels like to be their authentic selves around others.  I mentioned what a breath of fresh air it is to crack out of that itchy, sweaty, crackly, slimy mask...and just be who you really are.  Who you were born to be.  It is certainly freeing. 

I asked the question:  "When is a time that you really, really should not  have to wear a mask?  One teen said.."Here!  At COA!"  An adult said, "When you are by yourself- you need to take off the mask and look directly at yourself."  Another adult said "When you are with someone you are intimate with like a spouse, a parent, or a dear friend."  One teen said to me that you should never , ever have to wear a mask when you are at home. I agreed, but her statement made my heart skip.  I thought of sad instances where that is just not the case for some.  I thought about the struggles of LGBTQI youth when they are not accepted within their family.  I thought about other instances of abuse where a person may need to "hide" in order to stay safe.  My heart feels heavy with the awareness that there are many people in those circumstances.  I love the innocence of the fact stated by that young teen: at home you should feel safe. 

Finally,  I feel that social media can be like a mask; a way to be incognito or to be separate from our authentic self. It is refreshing, for me to see honest, real,  helpful, and empowering messages used in the social media arena. Social media can be done right. 

Yes, we are all capable of sporting a mask.  How can we learn to accept our authentic selves ? How can we get more comfortable showing others who we truly are?   How can we break free from the masks we wear out of fear? 

We could try loosening the edges.  We can wriggle our face enough and lift off that mask: the very thing that makes it hard for us to talk; hard for us to smile, and sometimes  hard to even breathe.  When we emerge, like hatching from a shell,  we can feel "brand new"  again. 

With Love and Peace to You,

Robin

Documentary Showing - 

Wilderness Journey

Sunday, February 22, 7 PM, Lounge

Come watch "Wilderness Journey" a documentary on the UU Black Empowerment struggle that challenged our movement in the late 1960's and early 1970's.  Bring a refreshment to share if you like.  Decaf coffee and tea provided!  Video run-time 1:15.  Discussion to follow. 

Rev. Aaron Payson