How to Be a Great Partner
I have to be honest. I'm not always the perfect partner. I can be judgmental, critical, bossy, blunt, a know-it-all, and I have a tendency to blame my partner when things don't go my way. You may find that you can relate to some of these "shadow behaviors," or you may have an impressive list of your own.
Despite the list, my partner and I often receive unsolicited feedback about how well we partner. The secret is that we work on the partnership almost as much as we do our dancing steps.
These tips will help you "partner like a pro": - List your most pervasive "shadow behavior" or blind spot. Share it with your partner and ask him or her how they can help you work around it more effectively. Chances are that he or she is already well aware of their "dark sides!" Ask your partner to do the same.
- Get comfortable apologizing and taking ownership of your shadows. If they appear and you aren't able to stop them, apologize. Say you are sorry and recommit to working on them. This goes a long way to reducing tension within the partnership and will likely encourage your partner to openly share his or hers with you.
- Compliment your partner. What goes around comes around. This strategy will help you stay grounded and focused on the positive aspects of your relationship.
No one is perfect. Remember to give each other grace and focus on what is working in your partnership.
Action Step:
Take you partner out for coffee or lunch. Make a list of all the things you appreciate in him or her and practice "giving grace." Give each other a few "verbal hugs" and notice if it changes the partnership in a positive direction.
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