Earlier this month I had the chance to attend the Catalyst Conference, a Christian leadership conference in Atlanta, along with some others from City Church. The theme of this year's conference was "Known," which meant many of the sessions and workshops were centered around this word, incorporating it in different ways throughout the week. During the conference different pastors, leaders and speakers spoke about what it means to be "known," whether known to others, known to ourselves, or known to God. Sitting there, I was thinking this was a Christianity 101, or something like that, maybe beneath me to learn from the week. But after thinking more about it, the concept of being "known" was something I had struggled with, but had just replacing it with a different word. 

As a student at Florida State in various leadership roles and classes I took, the concept of "legacy" was always thrown around. Students and leaders are often challenged to think about with the type of legacy they want to leave in their organizations, communities, and positions while in school - what they want to be "known" for in a sea of more than 40,000 students. Not that that is a bad thing by any means, I think it is a healthy exercise to challenge yourself to see how one would like to be remembered for once their time is passed. As time passed, my legacy became an idol, and came to be shaped by how I defined myself based on my identity in organizations I was a part of, things I did, or an impressive resume, altogether attributing outward things of this world by how I defined myself. 

And if we're all honest with ourselves, it's easy to do that in 2013. The first thing you do when someone asks to introduce yourself is talk about where you are from, what you do, and a few things you enjoy doing. We define ourselves by our jobs, our hobbies, where you are from of what you enjoy doing, sometimes in 140 characters or less. It's also shaped by how we want other to see us, how we want to be "known" to others. So when I was challenged with my legacy, it quickly became how I defined and identified myself, saying I belonged to these things, and those were what shaped me. Rather, I should have been fully identifying myself in who I am in Christ. As a Christian, I knew that scripture calls us to put our identity in Christ alone and not in things of this world. So I felt like I was constantly walking the fine line of curating my legacy and trying to be known by others. 

When I think about my job, relationships and experiences, my mind often brought back to how I want to be remembered in each of those settings, and how others will think of Kirsten Nyman. At Catalyst, Andy Stanley kicked off our conference by saying, "There is no amount of "known" that will never fully satisfy your desire to be known." I was clearly mistaking what I thought was my legacy with how I desired to be known by others, rather than seeing the Lord and whom I am known to. When praying about the thought of my legacy and what I want to be "known" for, I felt like God just laughed at me. (Maybe not laughing at me, He probably just laughed with me.) "Known? You want your name and legacy to be known? The Alpha and Omega knows your name. You are fully known and loved by the Creator of the entire universe who knows the depths of your heart. That's as "known" as you'll ever get. This is what I want your legacy to be. One of Christ."

Talk about dose of humility. My "legacy," a seemingly harmless exercise, had grown into my desire to be known by things of this world. I had reverted back to finding my identity in things I did, rather in who I was in Christ. In 2013, you see it all the time, people trying to fulfill themselves with the desire to be known by others, chasing things that are of this world, trying to fill a space that only a their Savor was meant to fill. 

All the time in scripture, Jesus is making it clear to his disciples that our time and legacy is not about ourselves. In Mark 8:34, Jesus states that, "they must deny themselves daily, pick up their cross and follow me." As disciples of Christ, my desire to be known should only be driven by my desire to have my Savior known, and have others know our Lord. More often than not, I desire Kirsten Nyman's legacy to be known throughout my circles, community and world - and my identify to be found by that. Clearly not the point Jesus was trying to make. 

We shouldn't seek fulfillment in having our legacy known to others, putting worldly things or desires in a place that only a Savior was meant to fill. I hope that as believers and members of City Church, our desire for others to know us a Christians is only fueled by a desire for our Lord's name to be known in order to reach our city for the Gospel. 

If I am known for anything, I want it to be known that anything good in me is the work of Christ in me.