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Something I have always struggled with is viewing the church as a whole. Growing up within the comfort of a Christian family, I was never 'without' the community of fellow believers. It was something that didn't affect me because I had always known it, much like the thought of electricity. You know it's there, but you don't really think about it until it's gone and you are stuck in the dark. Like electricity, it's extremely hard to function at the fullest potential without a body of community at your side.

The problem with that is we take for granted something that is just assumed should be there and be functioning at all times. Unfortunately, this can sometimes turn into a selfish luxury that we expect from the people around us. Other times, we seek comfort in the community only to be turned away.

When I was a sophomore in high school, I was in a relationship with an older high school boy. He and his family were very involved in the church I attended; we went to the same school, and he lead worship for the praise band in my youth group as well as in the regular service on Sunday morning. The problem with this perfect boy who loved Jesus and played the guitar, is that he started to mentally abuse and manipulate me. This lead further into sexual manipulation and abuse as the relationship progressed.

Because we were both from heavily involved families in the church, it wasn't long before people in the church started finding out what was happening. Soon after, one of the youth leaders came up to me and asked why I had made such choices in the relationship. This confused me because I had thought (and apparently I was crazy for thinking this) that I had been hurt, not to mention that my business had been put on display for everyone to be a part of. This was the time that I most needed that love from my community, but rather I was reminded of my shortcomings and told that the situation was my fault.

It's safe to say that I ran far and hard from God after that experience. I felt like so many non-believers do about the church and Christianity; I felt judged and unloved. The problem was that I put the shortcomings of man onto my view of the holy God. I thought that if my community could hurt me and stop loving me, what was stopping God from feeling the same way? After all, the church itself is the bride, providing community to the believers on earth, right? So now that my community had abandoned me, the only logical inference is that God had too.

After coming to Tallahassee, Christianity was the last thing I wanted to do. I was fine with attending church on a Sunday every now and then, but never was I going to get close enough to let that abandonment happen for a second time. Now, this isn't a plug for how awesome or how perfect City Church is, but it is where I became comfortable with Christians again. Obviously no church itself is going to be perfect, but through my healing process in this church, I learned to view things differently.

We as Christians are called a body of believers, but in reality, we are a broken body. Each and every one of us is broken. I was so stuck on the 'holier than thou' view that I carried with me about Christians, that I assumed I was the only one feeling abandoned and hurt. The harsh reality is that everyone has their 'stuff' they deal with and try to hide from other believers. We are all broken, and that's how we should treat one another--with the same love and acceptance that Christ has for us. 

My problem was that I had the wrong attitude. I was selfish and quick to find the failings of those around me. The thing is, we all fall short of the glory of God! It is by His grace that we are all saved from the baggage we carry with us. I needed a change of mindset, a reminder that I am not alone. I needed a community of believers who knew they were also broken, but were okay with it. I needed a community that was encouraging when it came to allowing God to put me back together.

With this, I just want to challenge you when it comes to how you view the church. We are a body of broken believers, we all fall short, and we are all struggling. Don't be so quick to cast judgement, but rather use Christ's example of unfailing love as a guide. As a community, we are to build each other up instead of pointing out flaws; we are to accept and love one another, even when it's hard. Remember what you have been saved from, and know that you are not alone.