By the time you read this, I can guarantee that I reread each sentence and paragraph over thirty times along with using a thesaurus to find the perfect word to make everything flow smoothly. I can also promise that I will have worried that my words would not have as much of an impact on you than any previous City Speak because I have not experienced any tragedy or substantial life change recently. Without a shadow of a doubt, I can say that when I was first approached to write this, my immediate thought was, "How can I write something that really just sounds good?"
Last week, you read an amazing story from one of my best friends who I also get the absolute pleasure of calling my co-worker and my roommate. Two months ago, I would sit back and pray constantly that
God would use me and my experiences to provide words of comfort to her because I absolutely loathe seeing people I love in pain. When I did not see the immediate effects of that happen right away, I began turning a situation that had nothing to do with me into my own little personal problem, and I knew it. That was the scary part. As I felt the devil try to tempt me away from showing any type of grace or providing Godly wisdom, thinking she was being selfish towards me in her solitude, or making this situation about me and my pain for her, I came across James 3:15-18.
For jealousy and selfishness are not God's kind of wisdom. Such things are earthly, unspiritual, anddemonic. For wherever there is jealousy and selfish ambition, there you will find disorder and evil of every kind. But the wisdom from above is first of all pure. It is also peace loving, gentle at all times, and willing to yield to others. It is full of mercy and good deeds. It shows no favoritism and is always sincere. And those who are peacemakers will plant seeds of peace and reap a harvest of righteousness. (NLT)
Talk about a wake up call! Who was I to think I could singlehandedly make things better for her? Who was I to decide when I extended grace and when I did not in the midst of my friend's pain? Where in the string of events did I even make myself the victim? Some friend I am! When the devil stirs up this selfish desire and basically throws himself a party in it, it is the easiest thing in the world to let our human desires fester and choose what the Bible calls earthly, unspiritual, and demonic things over the only One who is bigger than anything we can even begin to imagine (Job 38-41- go read that and let your mind be blown by our God). How wrong is that logic, but how easy is it to succumb to ourselves over and over again?
Thankfully, I serve a God that interferes with my life - a God that gives me grace each day that I do not remotely deserve. He is a God that takes my selfish nature and begs the question, "When are you going to choose ME and MY pure wisdom over the glorification of yourself?" I am so thankful that 2 months ago, my selfish desires got a slap in the face, and God (not Vonna) interfered with Meghan's life and is using her story to bring glory to his kingdom. As Meghan pointed out last week, this story is about Jesus. He can take the same situation and show you 2 or maybe even 2,000 completely different lessons He has for us. How amazing of a Savior do we serve that He finds us where we are in different places and pours his perfect wisdom into our lives to be forever changed?
(Vonna is a Tallahassee local and an alumni of Leon High School and Florida State University. She holds the title of being the first high school student at City Church, and is a founding owner. Vonna currently serves on staff as the First Impressions & Volunteer Director.)