Doctor, It Hurts When I Do This...!

Are you on of those people that go to the doctor when you are sick or not feeling well?   Do you call the dentist for an emergency appointment when you have a tooth ache?   Why wouldn't you see a counselor when your marriage hurts or is causing you pain?!   Think about that...

There is no wrong time to seek assistance, guidance, and support for whatever ails your union.   Often I get calls from couples when the partnership is terminal - meaning the D-word has been spoken (divorce).   This is likely a little late but it can be done.  If you both want to stay married, then it can definitely be saved.   The point is to reach out when you realize the marriage isn't quite living up to what you thought it was supposed to be.   Think about it this way; if this is your first marriage and it isn't working maybe it's because you are inexperienced and need a helping hand to walk you through it.   If this is your second (or third, fourth) maybe it's because you keep doing what you did in the first and, well, that didn't work out so pretty good either!

Secondly, keep in mind that you and your spouse have lived with the "problem" for years, don't expect miracles in the first counseling session.   It's kind of like losing weight, you put weight on over several years then you realize you must lose a few pounds.   They don't disappear because you decided; you have to change how and what you eat, exercise, etc.   Same goes for working on your marriage.   Which is why it is a great idea to start early in the resolving the problems.

Personally, I see more success in my couples who come in with one or two issues, than those that come in with a laundry list of strife to repair.  

Next month - Infidelity!

                                              Tracey J. Schreiber, LPC

Secret to Self-Esteem

We hear people all over throwing the term around, accusing some of not having it, and wonder who gives it to us.   So What is Self Esteem?!

Self Esteem isn't magic but it can be a little hard to conceptualize.   Let me see if I can explain it...   Self-esteem is an important factor in making strong, long lasting relationships - romantic and friendships.   When you have self-esteem you can problem solve, overcome obstacles and hurdles to achieve dreams and accomplishments.

One way to build self-esteem is to take inventory:  Look at who you are, what you give to others.   Don't just look at your faults and shortcomings, appreciate all you are and what you offer.  

Self-esteem is about confronting what makes you uncomfortable, doing what you aren't good at, saying the truth even if it hurts...  Low self esteem looks like the walls you hid behind, the self-deprecating sense of humor, the liquid courage you take part in, and the isolation you think protects you.  

While self-esteem isn't necessarily tangible - others can see it when you have it. 

                                              Tracey J. Schreiber, LPC

"If you don't know who you are, others will tell you."

 Abundance

 Def: plenty, overflowing, fullness, more than enough.