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It's About People
A Weekly Coaching Column from...
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Welcome to our new subscribers! This week's coaching column contains 738 words and will take about 5 minutes to read. We hope you enjoy it and pass it along!
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 Two ministers are sitting in a room discussing affairs of the church. Suddenly a man bursts in furiously shouting, stamping his feet, and banging his fist on the desk. The resident minister admonishes him: "Peter," he says, "kindly remember Rule Number 6," whereupon Peter is instantly restored to complete calm, apologizes and withdraws. The ministers return to their conversation, only to be interrupted yet again twenty minutes later by an hysterical woman gesturing wildly, her hair flying. Again, the intruder is greeted with the words: "Marie, please remember Rule Number 6." Complete calm descends once more, and she too apologies and takes her leave. When the scene is repeated for a third time, the visiting minister addresses his colleague: "My friend, I've seen many things in my life, but never anything as remarkable as this. Would you be willing to share with me the the secret of Rule Number 6?' "Very simple," replies the resident minister. "Rule Number 6 is `Don't take yourself so !*?&! seriously.' "Ahhhhh," says his visitor, "that is a fine rule." After a moment of pondering, the visiting minister inquires, "And, what, may I ask, are the other rules?" "There aren't any," came the response. Benjamin Zander, The Art of Possibility
 We are often invited to give talks on leadership in various settings, and we frequently share Benjamin Zander's story. Rule Number 6 can help those of us who have been culturally programmed to take ourselves so very seriously. We work in competitive environments with very serious responsibilities. Our customers depend upon us. Our employees depend upon us. Our communities depend upon us. Our families depend upon us. Very serious stuff, indeed. It's easy to go there and it's easy to remain there. Day in and day out, remembering how high the stakes are, and how important it is to focus on the very serious aspects of our roles and responsibilities.
One of the lessons from this story is to lighten up, which may well light up those around you. It is not about telling others not to take themselves so seriously, or to lighten up...or to get over themselves. It is about remembering to practice Rule Number 6 ourselves. "Remember Rule Number 6," has been inscribed on desk plaques facing both ways to remind leaders and their visitors of this powerful practice.
Humor can bring us together around our inescapable human misadventures, miscommunication, and confusion. When we find ourselves putting others down, being demanding, or acting entitled, that is a good time to remember Rule Number Six.
 We've found that remembering this simple rule actually frees us up to do our best work in any given situation. Looking for and discovering the humor in tense situations nearly always opens up a whole universe of possibility that we could not access from our more "Serious self."
For instance, I was to host and facilitate a lunch meeting for a room full of colleagues. My calendar indicated that the meeting would begin at noon. In fact, it started at 11:30. Intending to be at the meeting 25 minutes early for last minute preparations, I walked into a room full of colleagues who were enjoying their lunch and ready for the meeting to begin. I spent a couple of moments utterly mortified at my mistake, and then I remembered Rule Number Six. My work and life seem to present daily opportunities to Remember Rule Number Six. My Very Serious Self may resist, but my Very Practical Self knows the power of this wonderful practice, and usually wins out!
Benjamin Zander and Rosamund Stone Zander offer a set of breakthrough practices for creativity and leadership in their groundbreaking book, The Art of Possibility.
Your Coaching Challenge, Should You Choose to Accept It:
- What opportunities do you have to remember and practice Rule Number Six?
- How might doing so impact your work and personal life?
- How practicing Rule Number Six impact the work and personal lives of those around you?
We'll see you online next Monday. Cheers! Coach Jeanne
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