Well, it's a new year and I am a year older. Other than this head cold that doesn't want to leave me, I don't feel a year older. It was a delightful birthday week though. Flowers, a cake, dinner dates with friends - a whole week of pleasant celebration. So glad I have such wonderful friends and delightful nieces.

Apologies are in order. I accidentally deleted all the messages in my inbox. Permanently deleted them, not just throwing them in trash. So, if I owe you a response that you didn't receive from me - that's why. Please forgive me and re-send. Frankly, I don't know how it happened

I'm blogging again - so check it out: ArLyne's Diamonds.

Dropping Context

It is amazing how the meaning of a phrase changes when the context in which it was stated is dropped. I remember years ago when testifying in a sentencing hearing for an attorney who had been accused of molesting children, I made a sarcastic statement in response to a very sarcastic query by the prosecuting attorney. Everyone in the room understood it was not a true remark but a sarcastic response. Indeed, immediately after making the response (I'll tell you what it is in a minute) I quickly stated that I was just being sarcastic.

Years later, when testifying in a court in Oakland, I was asked, "Dr. Diamond, are you psychic?" "No" I replied confused and not remembering the prior statement - which of course was in response to the attorney asking "Well, how did you know?" in a very sarcastic tone - and me, equally sarcastic (and yes, one could say inappropriate - but everyone, including the Judge knew me) saying, "because I'm psychic."

The Oakland ADA said, "But Dr. Diamond, you stated you were psychic." I asked him to read the whole paragraph - and once the context was stated, everyone knew I was NOT stating I was psychic.

CONTEXT MATTERS!

I wish I could share the cartoon that made me think of writing this with you - but I don't have permission from the author. It was a Baby Blues Cartoon in the San Jose Mercury.

It went like this:

Mother is under the sink and the baby says: "Mom, your wedding ring is on the counter." She replies, "I know." " I took it off to clean down here because it is so dirty." Baby goes to Dad and says, "Mom takes her wedding ring off when she gets down and dirty." Dad replies, "Go on..."

ProMatch Workshops I've Offered.

Jump Start Your Job Search:
Marketing (Branding) Yourself:
Strategies and Tactics for your Job Hunt
Self-Assessment Seminar
Who are You? Part I & Part II
Negotiation Skills for Women:
Getting Your Mojo Back
Enhancing Your Professional Image: Your Unique Brand
Enhancing Your Professional Image: Your Unique Brand - again
Business Planning Seminar
Negotiation Strategies and Tactics

University Courses Taught

DeVry University, Keller Graduate School of Management

Career DecisionsConsumer Behavior

Leadership & Organizational Behavior

Quality and Performance Excellence

International Business

Business Planning (Capstone MBA class)

Psychology 110

Employment Law (Compliance Issues )

The Legal, Political and Ethical Dimensions of Business

Change Management

Human Resource Planning (Capstone MBA class)

Negotiation Skills

Lincoln Law School: The Psychology of Practicing Law

Stanford University, Continuing Education: Conflict in the Workplace

Books - Published

Leading and Managing in a Global Economy - Super Star Press

Conflict in the Workplace: Causes and Cures Robertson Publishing Co.

The following books can be ordered directly: www.ProductivePublications.com

Training Your Board of Directors: A Manual for the CEOs, Board Members, Administrators and Executives of Corporations, Associations, Non-Profit and Religious Organizations.

The "Please" and "Thank You" of Fundraising for Non-Profits: Fifteen Essential Ingredients for Success.

Shameless Self-Promotion:

My videographer and friend Carlos Cruz has started a series of programs he is calling Titanslaws. He interviewed me as part of his series - and this is the link.

http://titanslaws.com/webcast/episode-1-Interpersonal-Relationships-in-a-Global-Environment.php

We are also creating a series of audio books - the first of which is my fund-raising book.

Professional Branding

How do you describe yourself professionally? So many of us have developed a 30 second elevator speech that is cute, silly, and really doesn't express what we want people to know about us. Others ramble on about what they've done in the past, their education, and other pieces of information that put the listener to sleep before she actually figures out what they do today.

I've been offering workshops and talks to consultants, people out of work, and even those working who are concerned about how they are being perceived by those in authority. How do you brand yourself? How do you express who you are and what you do in a way that doesn't sound like everyone else doing the same work?

One of the techniques I suggest to clients is to remember things they've done in their youth that they are proud of having accomplished. These memories often remind us of who we really are - what are core values and strengths are that add to who we are professionally. Try it!

We become who we are today because of who we were yesterday. It's interesting going back into your past and learning about what really mattered to you.

Sticks 'N' Stones Will Break My Bones But Words Will Break My Heart

(I wrote this piece of prose several years ago and am offering it to you here because of several recent conversations I've had with people arguing about whether a group of people are "overly-sensitive" to slights. I think it's important to respect that someone may be sensitive to something for their own reasons - and those are not necessarily the same as mine.)

Remember the old children's retort, "sticks 'n' stones will break my bones, but words will never harm me"? Children would chant it in an attempt to deal with the pain of insults, slurs, teasing and other verbal taunts.

Did it work? A little bit.

Acts of bravado do indeed make us feel a little better about ourselves,

but,

and this is a very important but, they never do erase the pain and humiliation we experience when others call us names or say bad things about "our kind".In this age of expediency, pragmatism, and political-correctness, we seem to have lost some important social truths! It is hurtful to say things about a person - or parts of their anatomy - or a group of people, that leave them embarrassed, humiliated, or diminished in any way.

Although beauty may be in the eye of the beholder, insults are in the ear of the

receiver.

So, if the other person, or group of people, believes a particular word or phrase or symbol to be ugly, demeaning, threatening, or insulting, it is! It is, because it is to them.

The bottom line is: If you don't intend to hurt others, please pay attention to and respect the requests of the groups or individuals who ask us not to use certain descriptors or symbols.

So, How Can I help you?

Testimonial

A compass in the storm for facilitators and trainers.

I attended one of Dr. Diamond's workshops and had to go out and get the book. (Training Your Board of Directors) Of course, the information was clear and concise. Highly recommended for facilitators and trainers. I make presentations to boards for major projects and I've found this practical advice to be very relevant. Its principal value, of course, likes int he great insights condensed into a quick and easy read. Christopher Edington.

Let me be your Aufin-your advisor to Kings.

ArLyne Diamond, Ph.D ArLyne@DiamondAssociates.net

Diamond Associates 3567 Benton St., #315, Santa Clara, CA 95051

408-554-0110