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I am not only a Marine Mom, but also the grandmother of four children affected by their father's military deployments to Southwest Asia, with a new little granddaughter due the end of this month. This will be Rudd and Susan's first child and they know she is a girl. Hopefully Rudd will be able to be there for her birth. When our military deploy for a year, they usually get a 2-week break mid-deployment. Rudd is taking his early to be there for the birth of his first child, but then he will have to return to Afghanistan, and not see her for another eight months.
Modern technology has greatly improved military families' ability to communicate via phone, Skype, and email. My father was an Air Force Captain in World War II. He left before my brother was born, and didn't see him until he was two years old. Friends that were in the Viet Nam war tell me they would often not hear from their husbands via letter for weeks or even months. So indeed we can be thankful for modern communication. But what does that do for little children, especially when Daddy or Mommy isn't there for special events. My three-year old grandson has not had his Daddy home at Christmas for two of his three years . . ..
I have observed my grandchildren while their Daddies were deployed. Each child is a unique individual and reacts in various ways: anger, withdrawal, reverting to old behaviors, denial, and so on. Deployment is especially challenging for moms. They have to not only manage their own anxiety over their husband's absence, but also meet the special needs of their children.
The deployment cycle is particularly hard on military families. The Pre-deployment Phase requires planning and preparation for the upcoming separation, even in the midst of denial and grieving about the upcoming deployment. The Deployment Phase means adjusting to a single parent, with added stress on older kids to fill the gaps left by the deployed parent's absence - the family's "New Normal." The Post-deployment Phase involves an emotional roller coaster of joy over the warrior's return, with the often painful adjustment to his or her being home again. Since nearly all who return from deployment suffer some degree of combat trauma, coping with the invisible wounds of war can be particularly trying.
On a happier note, Malala Yousufzai, the 15-year old Pakistani girl who was shot by the Taliban last October for promoting girl's rights to attend school, is out of the hospital - truly a miracle! She is living with her family in Britain while she continues to receive treatment. Next month they will start to rebuild her skull.
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