Do you like being judged? How do you feel when you're judged? How does it make you feel to be the one doing the judging? Have you ever considered just how much judgment surrounds all of us in any given moment?
This past year, a lot has shifted for me. As you know, I continually delve into becoming more aware. With the courses that I chose to explore recently, the topic of judgment came up a lot. Although I always knew judgment existed, I never realized just how much we're conditioned to judge. So my question to you is "How does judgment show up in your reality?" Hmmm!
For instance, as I was meditating on what my targets are for the New Year (personally and professionally), I went into a lot of judgment of myself for many things that I didn't accomplish yet or didn't follow through on...one of which was "dropping the ball" on creating this very Newsletter, HolistiCaly Speaking. For those of you who have known me for awhile, you may recall that HolistiCaly Speaking was a regular feature. And then, for whatever reason, I stopped creating the Newsletter. Rather than going into judgment of it though, I asked, "What can I do now to re-energize the Newsletter? Is this even the right time to re-energize the Newsletter?" What if I was meant to briefly step away from the Newsletter so I could focus my energy on creating more classes? Instead of going into the wrongness of me (which is easy for me to do), I chose to ask questions to shift the energy and take action! And look, HolistiCaly Speaking is now in your inbox!
I was speaking with a friend recently who shared that she was upset with herself for breaking down and crying in front of her son. I could sense she was going into a lot of judgment about this and asked her, "What's right about what happened...how was you breaking down and crying a contribution to you/your son?" Perhaps this showed her son that it's okay to cry. What if her breakdown will allow him to be more understanding and supportive to his girlfriend or wife someday? Or what if this is simply what had to happen!
How often do you stand in front of the mirror and go into judgment of yourself? Do you judge your body...the shape, the size, the wrinkles? Is it a good hair day or a bad hair day? Do you have a zit smack in the middle of your forehead or do you have bags under your eyes? What if you chose to embrace your body and be grateful for all that it gives you!
Do you feel judged in your relationships? Are you happy in your relationship, yet others around you are saying, "I wouldn't tolerate ___________!" If you're happy and your relationship is working for you, who cares what others think! Some people may judge and say something like, "I could never be married to someone who makes less money than me." If that's what works for you though and you're happy...great!
Just the other day I was chatting with a friend and we were sharing how we're both homebodies. I used to think to myself, "What's wrong with me, I rarely go out at night...I'd much rather be home." Cool! That's what makes me happy! That doesn't mean that people who go out every weekend are wrong. For me personally though, I prefer to kick back and relax in my home! I love my home and that's what makes me happy! Yet I also realize that's not what works for everyone.
Reflect upon nature for a moment. There is no judgment in nature. Do you think for a moment one flower looks at another and says, "I can't believe you chose to wear purple petals today!" Or, "I can't believe you're wearing white after Labor Day!" Do you think that one rose looks at another and says, "Ha, I'm five inches taller than you...you're so short compared to me!" Trees don't look at each other and say, "Can you believe that elm is allowing those cardinals to shack up with him?" Do you think one lawn looks at its neighboring lawn and says, "I'm better than you because I got a manicure today?" This sounds crazy and may have you laughing...yet this is what we're conditioned to do as humans!
What if rather than going into judgment, we choose to be in allowance? (And that doesn't mean you have to agree with what everyone is choosing.) Nature is so beautiful in its vastness and differences. Just like nature, what if our differences contributed to making the world a more beautiful place?
SHINE EVEN BRIGHTER:
Where does judgment play out in your relationships? Do you blame your significant other for your anger, unhappiness or frustration? Do you have children because you "should" and that's what's expected of you? Or maybe you're happily single, yet feel pressured to find "the one" and get married because that's what you "should" do. What if you were to choose what works for you!
How do you judge your body? Do you focus on cellulite, the five extra pounds you gained over the holidays or the scar from a surgery? What if you were to love your body exactly as it is? What if you were to treat it with kindness and gratitude!
Do you judge others for climbing the corporate ladder while you're still in the same position after five years? Do you get envious of others that have chosen jobs that they love while you're "stuck" in an unfulfilling position? Instead of judging, what if you were to use that energy to motivate you to implement change!
Who are you judging? Are you judging the homeless person on the street? The new boyfriend that your daughter chose as "the one?" Do you feel superior compared to others? Just as you choose what's right for you, what if you could allow everyone to choose for them!
When I notice judgment showing up in my life (whether I'm judging or feel like I'm being judged), I've learned to say/use this valuable tool - "That's an interesting point of view!" Because really that's all it is...someone's point of view! :-)
Copyright 2013
