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October 27, 2014
Sports and Psychology by Nyaka Niilampti
Fall brings with it backpacks, a return to school, and anticipation of the newest round of sport activities. Football practice began before school buses became familiar with their new routes, and for some parents, a new school year can present mild anxiety around what they should do about athletic participation-
Which sport should we try? What team is the "right" team? How much time should athletics occupy? Add to that the seemingly constant stream of negative press about the sports world-both on and off of the field- and it can all leave parents wondering what role sports participation should play in the lives of their children. Are athletics still a positive endeavor? How can they ensure that the lessons their children take away from the athletic fields are constructive? And finally, how can they support their young athletes in a way that promotes a love of physical activity rather than have them get caught up in some of the possible pitfalls of the game?
As a psychologist who works primarily with athletes of all ages and performance levels, there are a number of questions and worries that I tend to hear from parents.
More often than not, apprehensions revolve around the following themes: managing performance anxiety, building good character, dealing with failure, and recognizing burnout.
Interestingly, as someone who strongly believes that we can use sports to teach life lessons, these are concerns to be faced not just on the field, but in daily life as well.
Here are some tried and true methods of helping your children enjoy their sports experience while absorbing positive life lessons that will serve them well beyond their youth sport days:
1) Help them to differentiate between "playing well" and winning. When parents focus on outcome in the form of wins and losses only, young people learn that the final score is the single aspect of play that really counts. This emphasis often increases pressure, anxiety, and the fear of making mistakes. Encourage your athlete to concentrate on the process-related behaviors that they know will allow them to perform well: a positive attitude, mental toughness, concentration, and persistence.
2) Encourage them to prepare properly. The feeling of being unprepared can contribute significantly to anxiety. If young athletes know that they have taken practice seriously and consistently given their best effort, they are much more likely to "trust the training", resulting in decreased worry or concern and increasing overall enjoyment.
3) Teach them to set realistic goals to improve specific skills. If your young athlete complains about lack of playing time, ask them to consider what they may need to do to gain more. Help them to identify and articulate areas in which they can improve, and assist them as they move forward to achieve this task. Remember, goals should be measurable, challenging, and attainable. Helping young people to set and achieve goals will serve to increase their confidence, which can decrease performance anxiety, reduce the likelihood of burnout, and help them to develop a sense of self-efficacy.
4) Help them to learn from the experience. Developing a habit of self-reflection after any performance can help create a platform for continual learning and growth. Maybe there is a need to spend more time at practice, work a bit harder, or manage distractions. Help them to remember that loss does not equal failure. You don't want them to become consumed by loss, but you don't want them to just brush it off either. Ideally, young athletes will learn from the disappointment of a loss and be willing to risk failure again; keep in mind that the experience of a painful loss can sometimes be used as a motivation for future effort and success. However, this learning potential requires a willingness to provide appropriate feedback, which includes both praise and constructive criticism.
5) Model the behaviors you want them to display. Too often, recent news brings with it sports parents "behaving badly". Parent behavior in youth sports can be one of the greatest champions and greatest disgraces. Take a look at how you manage failure and disappointment in your own life: what does your self-talk say? Is it overwhelming critical? What are the unspoken messages you send to your young ones? Do you acknowledge and respect the voices of others and work together to achieve a common goal? Keep in mind that young people are always watching-your actions speak volumes, despite the words you choose to say out loud.
6) Finally, keep your expectations in check. This requires you to communicate at all times. If you are concerned about whether your young one is enjoying their athletic life, ask them. Provide support, but also let them know-both in word and in action-that their sport participation is for them. Too often, parents can become overinvested in the athletic achievements of their children.
Communication of your support, whether they become an All-American or not, and encouraging balance, both in and out of sport can help to decrease anxiety, allow other aspects of identity to develop, and contribute to an overall more positive sport experience.
Parents are a significant key to a positive youth sport experience, and research indicates that those involved in sport at a young age, with enjoyable experiences, become life-long exercisers. We know that sport participation can provide tremendous benefits to young people-including decreases in the risk of obesity, increases in concentration, attention and focus, higher self-esteem and leadership skills. Effectively managed, you can help them take the valuable skills they learn from sports and apply them both on and off of the field.
Great advice for all of us that parent a sports enthused child. Thank you Nyaka!
Dr. M
Nyaka NiiLampti is an Assistant Professor of Psychology at Queens University of Charlotte and a licensed psychologist at Southeast Psych, a large group private practice in Charlotte, NC. She holds an A.B. from Princeton University, an M.A. with a concentration in Sport Psychology from the University of North Carolina-Chapel Hill, as well as a Ph.D. from Temple University, a program with an emphasis on multiculturalism and diversity.
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4.5 months have passed and the story is the same. Our fast food is now stuck in dehydrated limbo. No change noted for the last 4 weeks. No bugs or fungus want to eat this food.