From German classical master Egon von Neindorff:

"Brutality begins where skill ends. Beginners are not bad riders, they merely lack experience. The only truly bad riders are usually 'experienced' in the poorest sense of that word; those who blatantly and ignorantly bully their horses. If the horse is trained by force, force will be required to ride it. Be gentle while grooming, the horse is not a carpet! Remember, true horsemanship starts on the ground."

Don't you just love that line: the horse is not a carpet!???  

And this all has to do with the button.

Let's just get started by talking a little bit about space and respect from the single aspect of petting a horse's face. Now, I'm the first to admit that I love to pet my horses' faces. But, my horses love it too. They love to have their face rubbed and their ears twanged about inside and out, they love to have me muddle around with their lips and nostrils, scratch under their chins, etc.

BUT  -  I don't do that with horses that don't know me or don't offer. Yes, I believe it is important to train a horse that is resistant, due to various factors, to these shows of affection, but I'm not going to walk up to you and rub my hand on your face - I don't think you'd like it! So, don't do it to a horse unless it's okay with them. 

What I mean by training it in is teaching them that it's a good thing. You don't get to tell them and have them accept it, you get to figure out how to approach and retreat so they can experience that it's a good thing.

Many folks yammer about respect and then walk up to a horse pat it hard on the nose, tie their head, slap their neck like a 'good ol' boy' etc. WHAT IF THAT HORSE WAS YOU?

Notice when a horse dishes his head off when a hand is raised to pet. If the person takes the hand away, the horse has just learned how to make you take the hand away. In teaching that it's a good thing, think the lighthearted "and by the way, I'd appreciate it if you kept your head here" as you indicate with hand or halter where exactly you would like the head. How will he know if you don't tell him? If you always let him swing his head off to the side, he always will. You're not demanding he keep his head there, you're asking him to keep his head there. BIG DIFFERENCE!

However, what's REALLY important is that you feel for the horse when you're doing this. I don't care who you pick, but choose some little kid, yours, your grandkid or whomever and approach with the same feeling and touch that you would use with them when you are trying to convey a lesson. The same kindness and softness while still being firm in your request. 

 There's a difference between techniques and technique.

• "You get out of the horse what you put in - the way you put it in." - Ray Hunt