 May 2012
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Greetings!
The banner at the top is a picture from my vacation in Cayo Santa Maria, Cuba. I took a week to relax and let the wind and the sun and the waves sweep away the tension and put me in touch with some fresh ideas.
I got a lot accomplished by slowing down, sitting still, reading good books, and just thinking without resistance. When I took stock at the end of the week, I had made enough progress for a work week without any of the tension that comes from working. Many good ideas had been waiting for me to clear some space for them.
This is a week for learning from play. Today, a group of practitioners is getting together for our annual retreat. Andrew Freund is leading us in an exploration of improvisation as a way of building connections, developing creativity, and shifting choice points. Next week, we'll learn to listen through the model of a jazz quartet. And then the practitioner certification will begin and that's always a time of release, laughter and learning.
We don't relax instead of learning. We relax so we can learn.
Wherever you are this month, find your best learning state, relax, and discover something wonderful.
Linda Ferguson, Ph.D.
Senior Partner
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May Events at NLP Canada Training
All events take place at 47 Queen's Park Cres. E., Toronto, ON. All events require registration by calling Carole at 416-928-2394.
Thursday, May 10, 7:30pm to 9:30pm
Doors open at 7:00pm. Please call 416-928-2394 to reserve.
NLP and All That JazzDid you ever wish you could listen with all your attention and then instantly respond with your best stuff? Maybe you've been caught waiting your turn instead of paying attention or maybe you've listened so intently that you forgot to take your turn to speak. Listening is a complicated skill and we don't get many opportunities to model what works best. Improvised music is like a meeting in that different people take turns in the lead. Musicians know that the quality of the music depends as much on how well they listen as it does on how well they play. With a jazz quartet providing live music and answering questions about listening, we will work through some practical steps to improve your ability to listen with full attention and then take the lead with increased impact. No charge but donations are requested. If you'd like to donate early, just click here.We'll also be collecting donations of non-perishable food items for the Daily Bread Food Bank. NLP Master Practitioner TrainingFri May 11, Sat/Sun May 12/13 and Sat/Sun May 26/27 and Sat/Sun Jun 2/3 and Mon Jun 4, all days 9am to 6pm NLP Practitioner Training
Sat/Sun May 12/13 and Sat/Sun May 26/27 and Sat/Sun Jun 2/3, all days 9am to 6pm
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A Brief Look at the Benefits of Training in NLP
Two kinds of people take NLP - the kind who ask me what it will do for them and the kind who hear about NLP and just register. Once they experience a practitioner training, both groups find that NLP is even more effective than they expected (even if it's still hard to explain). NLP is a set of practices that allow you to notice and refine the way you relate to yourself, to other people, and to situations. These practices will improve both the results you get and the satisfaction you feel with them. When you have better choices available to you, it is natural that you are more effective, more motivated, and generally more happy with yourself and your world. Through NLP, you identify the places in your thinking and behaviour where small changes can have a big impact. Learning NLP is easy and fast: thinking differently so you get different results in yourself, for yourself, and from other people - that takes time, repetition, and a willingness to navigate change to get what you want. That's why we offer a community of practice and lots of support while you make the changes you want to make. Whether you want to feel more together, to achieve excellence in particular tasks, or to be more reliably effective in your influence on others, NLP can be the difference that makes a difference. Click here to download the new brochure
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Plan to take a Master Practitioner Certification
If you're wondering whether it would be useful for you to continue your study of NLP by taking the Master Practitioner Certification, the answer is probably yes.
People who ask me whether the master practitioner would be a good choice for them have experienced benefits from the practitioner training and they have a desire that tells them that there is more to learn. They wonder (before they register) because the model of NLP is so different that they cannot apply their expectations from other education. They also wonder because they got more than they expected from their practitioner training and they are not sure if they are "ready" to take another big leap.
Yes, you're ready. How do I know? The Master Practitioner is still NLP: it's still a way of paying attention to the natural learning patterns of all human beings. You are ready because NLP is a natural way of thinking that is available to anyone who invests their attention in noticing how change is already happening.
What will be different when you have completed the Master Practitioner? You will. Master Practitioners have a surer understanding of what they will need to do to develop the skills and practices of NLP in a wider variety of situations (and often without looking like they're doing a "technique" at all).
You know what comes to mind when you think about mastery or about people who have mastered something. You know that mix of confidence and competence and evolution that characterize a master. You know that masters are people who explore their limits so they can extend their reach, that masters sometimes make mistakes (so they can learn from them), and that masters make difficult things look easy.
In the Master Practitioner certification, you will learn to see the frames and loops that connect the games you play in the practitioner certification to conversational change like that achieved by Erickson. You'll begin to see the difference between the principles and structures of NLP and their application in specific techniques. You'll still use the edits and games from the practitioner certification: you'll just be more flexible, subtle and sure in your use of them.
Mastery of them takes more than one week. The certification does not make you a master of NLP: it tells you and the world that you have chosen the path to mastery. Completing the certification means you have everything you need to practice to master the structures, strategies and stories of subjective experience.
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Announcing HOPE 2012: Influence through Integrity
We have set the time and place for our fourth annual HOPE Symposium. On September 29, members of the NLPCT community will gather at Emmanuel College, University of Toronto for a day of deep, wide, interesting discussion of how NLP practice supports the belief that good things are always possible. This year, our theme for HOPE will be Influence through Integrity. Watch for a call for speakers and more details in the June newsletter (but mark your calendar now - you'll want to be there). If you're new to HOPE, visit the symposium website for speaker bios and videos from the 2011 event.
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Haolin Munk, our Guest Artists on May 12
Haolin Munk is a quartet who improvise together playing jazz, blues and funk. Their style is upbeat, engaging and liable to get you moving. On May 12, they'll be playing pieces composed by jazz greats Thelonious Monk, Wayne Shorter, and others. Don't worry if you don't know the names: even if you do not normally listen to jazz, you'll find the music engaging and the musicianship interesting.
This is an exceptionally articulate quartet of students and grads from McMaster University. You can expect them to have interesting things to say about how they pay attention to each other as they trade solos and build a performance. We'll be hearing Chris Ferguson on alto saxophone, Aaron Hutchinson on drums, Andrew McCormick on tenor saxophone (all from McMaster's Arts & Science program) and Josh Weiner on bass (the Med Sci in the group).
Connor Bennett usually plays tenor saxophone with the group, but he will be in the middle of the Mother's Day Bike Challenge on May 12. Connor is combining a degree in civil engineering with studies in visual arts. He will be cycling from Toronto to Ottawa to raise funds for maternal health in developing countries.
You can support Connor's ride by clicking here to make a donation, or by making a donation on May 10. Of course, we will also welcome donations of non-perishable food items for the Daily Bread Food Bank in Toronto.
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Wishing Mike Mandel All the Best
Both the NLP and the hypnosis sides of NLP Canada Training have been going through a period of rapid evolution. Mike Mandel has been eager to develop new programs and courses in hypnosis and related fields at the same time as the Advisory Board has been putting together exciting new programming in NLP. There's been a lot happening.
In order to do our best work and ensure that both sides of the programming have the attention and marketing support they deserve, we have decided that Mike Mandel's course should be offered by Mike Mandel Hypnosis in the future. This will allow Mike to work in new spaces and to develop courses that are quite different than those that will be filling the schedule at NLP Canada Training.
NLP Canada Training will continue to offer Canada's best programmes in NLP and a thriving community of practice. We look forward to making room for new trainers and new approaches to serving that community with models and practices that build our understanding of change and influence through integrity.
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How to Deal with Difficult Children (of all ages)
We had a terrific evening on April 12 as our speakers inspired us with their passion for connecting with difficult children and making their lives better. Thanks again to Kathleen Milligan, John Dafos and Nick Babiuk for sharing your experience, wisdom and heart.
Some people have asked me for tangible steps to apply this inspiration in their relationships with kids (often with their own kids at home). Later this month, I'll be posting a new series of video shorts (each about 5 minutes long), complete with homework for applying them in ways that make a real difference in your relationships. Until then, here's a sneak peak at the outline of the new series. - Explore what you want
- Manage your expectations
- Pay attention
- Notice your impact
- Take baby steps
You could even try these steps when dealing with a difficult adult. What do you want? Improving your interactions with a difficult child is like any other challenge: it helps to know where you are going. Think about the relationship you want to have with your child twenty years from now, and then work back to what you want to achieve in the current situation. If you want an adult who is independent and strong-willed, you may find that behaviours that seemed "difficult" are already building towards your goals.
What do you expect?
All our experts emphasize the important of believing that kids (especially difficult kids) have the strengths, resources and knowledge they need to find satisfactory ways to cope with their challenges. The belief is foundational to effectively helping anyone to navigate difficult situations and it's really hard for parents to achieve. Parents want to keep kids safe and anticipate problems so they can be avoided. This can mislead both parents and children into believing that they need help in order to live satisfying lives. It's hard to trust that your kid can make better choices - but it's absolutely necessary.
How do you pay attention?
There's an argument to be made that human beings are programmed (or have evolved) to notice problems. We slow down to look at traffic accidents, find fault with our friends, and anticipate all sorts of catastrophes. When we encounter a difficult kid, this programming can often make the disagreement seem more intense and the fear more real than it needs to be. Practice non-judgmental, close observation of the difficult kids in your life. Instead of the rhetorical "how could s/he do that?" ask the question with wide open curiosity and work towards a detailed response using all your senses. How do you respond?
Sometimes kids reflect our own difficulties back at us and sometimes they seem to have really remarkable instincts for how to push our buttons. The solution is often not to change the way the kids are behaving, but to consider ways of responding without tension, pain or confusion. When you think about an exchange with a difficult kid, how close are you to the kid you imagine? Try moving the camera back so that your view takes in more context and less button-pushing.
What is the smallest action you could take to change the situation? Baby steps cover a small distance and make a huge difference. When you think about dealing with a difficult kid, it is easy to get sucked into the drama of the situation. It's easy to want big changes when the status quo is very uncomfortable. But a better way to make change happen is often to ask yourself "what is the smallest thing that I could do differently that this kid would notice?" Then make the change and pay attention until you can see its results. |
Mark Your Calendars
NLP Practitioner Certification
May 12/13 and May 26/27 and June 2/3
July 9-14 inclusive
August 5-10 inclusive
NLP Master Practitioner Certification
May 11/12/13 and May 26/27 and June 2/3/4
July 8-15 inclusive
August 4-11 inclusive
The 2012 HOPE Symposium: Influence through Integrity
Sat Sep 29, Emmanuel College, University of Toronto
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