 January 2010 Toronto, Ontario |
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NLP Canada Training Inc. Newsletter
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How do you get other people to change?
As you look at 2010, you are wondering: what will change? what should change? what can I change?
As a teacher, my job is to get other people to change. People work with me so that they will have ideas and information and abilities that they would not have on their own (or would not have as easily). Often, my job is to persuade someone that something has more value than it appears at first glance.
As a business person, my job is to get other people to change. I have no business unless I persuade people to give up time and money because I can help them to make changes in who they are, how they think, and what they can accomplish. Often, my job is to persuade them that I am capable of giving them something without taking more than it's worth.
My job is to get other people to change. It's not to change other people. The distinction counts. It's the difference between taking someone down a path and showing them the path.
That's why changing others is a slippery slope. To do it, you have to walk the line between taking too much control and having less influence than would be useful. To deny that you can change others is as dangerous as to be sure that you know what changes other people need.
And so we do the best we can to think through the changes we allow in ourselves and the changes we encourage in others. I hope this newsletter and the courses we are offering in January will help you know when to initiate change, when to support it, and when to go with the flow.
Linda Ferguson
Senior Partner
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 Coming Up This Winter at NLP Canada Training Inc.
All programs are offered at 47 Queen's Park Cres. E., Toronto.
All programs require registration. Call Carole at 416-928-2394.
One day courses ($145 pp or $150 for two people)
Saturday, January 9 NLP for Getting Results
Saturday, January 10 Coaching with NLP: Solving Problems
Saturday, January 16 Change that Sticks
Evening programs
($35 ea. Free to NLP Master Practitioners and their guests)
Tuesday, January 19 Relaxed and Ready
Thursday, February 4 Introduction to the Enneagram
Certification programs
NLP Practitioner Certification (February 6/7 and 20/21 and Mar 6/7)
Ericksonian Hypnosis with Mike Mandel (Apr 17/18 and Apr 23, 24, 25)
Coaching Applications of the Enneagram with Barbara Luedecke (Apr 10/11)
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 How do you know it's a problem?
This is one of those questions that seems trivial and which, if answered carefully, will probably contain the seeds to the strategy you need to move past the problem.
I am choosing my words carefully: we talk too much about solving problems and too little about what comes after we solve them. If problems are things that stand between us and a state or achievement that we want, then we need to keep moving even after the problem is solved. We need more than a solution; we need a path that leads to what we want.
Some problems sit at a leverage point: they block the way to several things we want at once. It's hard to visualize this because our visual sense works in three dimensions but our lives work in multiple dimensions. We can want dozens or hundreds of things at once. That part is easy. Understanding how each action - or each problem - affects our progress towards all of those things at once is more than we can do with our conscious mind, our language or our images.
So, our first step in dealing with a problem is not to ask "why is it a problem" - which involves conceptual thinking - but "how do you know it's a problem?" which can be answered with information available to the senses (mine and yours). The answers open up in two directions: in one, the sensory specific information gives us pieces of the pattern to change and in the other, we get information about what is on the other side of the problem. This already suggests the possibility of moving past the problem and towards the goal being blocked by it.
Try it now. Think of a problem in your own life. Ask yourself, "how do I know it's a problem?" and keep asking until you get to sensory details. For example, you might say: I know it's a problem because I get a particular feeling in my stomach, and I hear the voice in my head saying "I can't deal with this" and people around me look at me with a particular expression. I've given example in all three main senses (sight, sound, feeling), but you might really only have one. Sometimes you might say, "I don't really think it is a problem but my mother/boss/boyfriend says it's a problem. So I know when I hear them tell me I have to change."
Then stretch in the other direction. Ask yourself "what will be different in my life when I don't have this problem? what's on the other side?"
Sometimes just knowing precisely what a problem is and where it sits in your personal ecosystem will allow you to quickly and easily move past it. At other times, knowing precisely what the problem is and where it sits allows you to ask new questions or to gather specifically the right resources to add to the situation.
Want to know more? Come to Coaching with NLP: Solving Problems on Sunday, January 10, 10 am to 4:30 pm. Call Carole, our business manager, at 416-928-2394 before 5pm on January 9. Registration is required.
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Great Results Take All of Your Brain
Have you ever found yourself trying harder and harder to get something done. It seems the harder you work, the more things go wrong. If you're doing it with your hands, things snap or shift or get dropped. If you're doing it with your head, you make mistakes or run into problems you don't have the resources to solve. The harder you try, the slower you get.
Working the same way harder rarely gets the result you want.
What's the alternative? Why not apply more of your brain to the thing you want to do? Instead of working with your hands or your head - use both. Instead of sharpening your vision or fine-tuning your ears, do both. Instead of working analytically or intuitively, do both. Using more centres in your brain creates mental energy (instead of draining it) and it opens up the possibility of new connections in your brain (which often leads to more connections between your resources and the result you want to get).
If you're stuck or frustrated or over-working or over-thinking, stop. Take a breath. Pick one of your senses and use it to explore the situation (your eyes or your ears or your sense of touch). Add a second layer of sensory information. Stretch your body and notice that your thoughts stretch with it.
If there's a result you really want, go after it with all of your best stuff.
Want to learn more? We're teaching a five-step strategy for getting results using the principles and practices of NLP. Join us on Saturday, January 9, from 10:00 am to 4:30 pm for NLP for Getting Results. Call Carole at 416-928-2394 to register.
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Making Change Stick
By the time you read this, 2010 will be almost a week old. How are you doing with your New Year's Resolutions? Have you managed to stay with your new diet for two days in a row? How about your regular exercise routine? Your organized desk?
 Whatever your resolutions, you know that it's much easier to make change than it is to make change stick. We have all started things we finished much sooner than we planned (and not because we got what we wanted so fast). We have all experienced the elation of a quick change, followed by the sigh that comes with the quick change back.
Here's a hint for 2010: if you want to make change stick, find someone who will support the change you want to make. In Change or Die, Alan Deutschman identified supportive relationships as one of three keys to making change sustainable. Most of us fail at change because we fail to put in place the relationships that would support our change.
On Saturday, January 16, John Dafos and Linda Ferguson will be leading a one-day workshop on Change that Sticks. Call Carole at 416-928-2394 to register. You'll learn how to make change for yourself and others that is strong, flexible, useful - and sustainable.
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FREE
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NLP Master Practitioners certified by NLP Canada Training Inc. can attend any one day course this winter and bring a guest free of charge. Practice your skills, learn new ways to apply them, and enjoy introducing new people to the benefits of NLP.
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Registration required. Call Carole at 416-928-2394.
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