Dodge Park Rest Home next Alzheimer's / Dementia support group will be held on Tuesday June 14, 2011, at 6pm. The monthly event is taking place on the second Tuesday of each month. The support group meeting is FREE and open to the public. Please call (508) 853-8180n to find out more information. 

Bob and Rob turned in their quizzes at the same time. When they got their quizzes back ,they both got 14 out of 15 answers right. Their teacher talked to them afterward.

Teacher: You both missed number 15, but Bob is going to pass the quiz, Rob will have to stay behind.

Rob: But if we both missed the same question, why are you passing him?

Teacher: Because he answered the question "I don't know" and you answered it "Neither do I.

A student called up his Mom one evening from his college and asked her for some money, because he was broke.

His Mother said, "Sure, sweetie. I will send you some money. You also left your economics book here when you visited two weeks ago. Do you want me to send that up too? "

"Uhh, oh yeah, O. K. " responded the kid.

So his Mom wrapped the book along with the checks up in a package, kissed Dad goodbye, and went to the post office to mail the money and the book. When she gets back, Dad asked, "Well how much did you give the boy this time? " "Oh, I wrote two checks, one for $20, and the other for $1,000 out to him. " "That's $1020!!! " yelled Dad, "Are you going crazy??? " "Don't worry hon," Mom said, kissed Dad on the on top of his bald head, "I taped the $20 check to the cover of his book, but I put the  $1,000 one somewhere between the pages in chapter 15! "

I have this great new way of training, I have become much stronger the last months while doing this. And now I'm going to tell you about it!

Begin by standing on a comfortable surface, where you have plenty of room at each side. With a 5-lb potato sack in each hand, extend your arms straight out from your sides and hold them there as long as you can. Try to reach a full minute, and then relax. Each day you'll find that you can hold this position for just a bit longer.

After a couple of weeks, move up to 10-lb potato sacks. Then try 50-lb potato sacks and then eventually try to get to where you can lift a 100-lb potato sack in each hand and hold your arms straight for more than a full minute. (I'm at this level.) After you feel confident at that level, put a potato in each of the sacks.

1. The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.  

2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian .

3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.

4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption.

5. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stati

6. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

7. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in  France  would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

8. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

9. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it

10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

11. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

12. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other: 'You stay here; I'll go on a head.'

13. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

14. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the Grass.'

15. The midget fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

16. The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

17. A backward poet writes inverse.

18. In a democracy it's your vote that counts.

19. In feudalism it's your count that votes.

20. If you jumped off the bridge in  Paris , you'd be in Seine .

21. A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at him and says, 'I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger.'

23. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too

24. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, 'I've lost my electron.' The other says 'Are you sure?' The first replies, 'Yes, I'm positive.'

25. There was the person who sent ten puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh.  No pun in ten did.

A man had just settled into his seat next to the window on the plane when another man sat down in the aisle seat, and put his b,lack Labrador Retriever in the middle seat between them.

The first man looked very quizzically at the dog and asked why it was allowed on the plane. The second man explained that he was a DEA agent, and that the dog was a "drug-sniffing dog". He went on, "His name is Sniffer and he's the best there is. I'll show you once we get airborne, when I put him to work."

The plane took off, and once it leveled out, the agent said "Watch this." He told Sniffer to "search". Sniffer jumped down, walked along the aisle, and finally sat very purposefully next to a woman for several seconds. Sniffer then returned to his seat and put one paw on the agent's arm. The agent said, "Good boy!", turned to the man and said, "That woman is in possession of marijuana, so I'm making a note of her seat number and the authorities will apprehend her when we land."

"Say, that's pretty neat" replied the first man. Once again, the agent sent Sniffer to search the aisles. The Lab sniffed about, sat down beside a man for a few seconds, returned to his seat, and placed two paws on the agent's arm. The agent said, "That man is carrying cocaine, so again, I'm making a note of his seat number for the police." "I like it!" said his seat mate. The agent then told Sniffer to "search" again. Sniffer walked up and down the aisles for a little while, sat down for a moment, and then came racing back to the agent, jumped into the middle seat and pooped all over the place. The first man was really grossed out by this behavior and couldn't figure out how or why a well-trained dog would act like that. He asked the agent "What's going on?" The agent nervously replied, "He just found a bomb!"

Your parents have always provided patients , reassurance, and protection through all of life's ups and downs. Now it's your turn to be there for them .
 

Dodge Park at Home Personal Care specializes in dependable, affordable in - home care for seniors.  From a simple helping hand to 24-hour care, we can tailor a program to suit your family needs. 

Let us provide a better quality of life for your loved one, and peace of mind for you.