| Breaking Tradition |
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| Bola Akinseye |
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| Anthony la Paglia |
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Welcome to New Readers
A reminder. If you are a new reader, you are entitled to a free trial of coaching or training, personal or business. contact details below. Please feel free to forward this to any friends/colleagues who may be interested. This month we look at the changing conditions, which affect women's careers. It often seems that women have equality in the workplace. However that changes from the moment they take maternity leave. It is expected that they can return to the same level of pay and seniority after, but there are a number of factors that mean this is not always the case; and as the recession bites, women on leave or part-time are often the first laid off. Click here for more information. Equal pay for equal work has yet to become a reality, despite the legislation back last century in 1968.  |
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| Calling All Pilots
Calling all pilots. Was it serendipity or just setting an intent? Even before the Newssheet was published, I'd met a pilot! I met a man who knew a man, whose mother was a pilot. She gained her private pilot's license at the age of 19. A few years ago I must say, and in another country, but still to her it seems like yesterday. When ever she gets on an Air India plane, she feels that she would be more comfortable in the cockpit. Her story is fascinating, and her interview will be appearing soon. Here is her picture, at that time, although she flew tiger moths as well, she learnt on and mostly flew Pushpak, which was an Indian plane available to her in Assam where she trained. Her mother was concerned that nobody would want to marry a woman who flies. Things don t really change much. She flew somersaults and looped the loop, and was quite fearless. She could come low over the water and just wet the wheels of the plane. However when she moved to England she felt that she had to make the choice, to put family first. She is enormously proud of her family, husband and children, but it's a common theme. Some invisibility questions. Did you know how many women Spitfire pilots there were? Did you know there was a move afoot last year to honour them? Have you heard any more about it? |
Drop Your Trousers And Get Screwed
Something interesting came up at a lecture on the herd instinct and marketing. Mark Earls admitted that marketing language tends to be macho and military. I found this in the Independent Media section. It was fascinating to read a woman journalist writing about PR firms winning contracts. The metaphor and the language is very revealing.
"The trouble with dropping your trousers in the ad business is that you either end up screwing someone or being screwed. Some of the less confident media agencies are dropping their trousers offering a cut-price service the biggest buying and selling balls in the business sit across the negotiating table from each other and wait to see who blinks first. Generally everyone's a winner if they're big enough. It's the smallest guys who can get screwed."
Recently many companies and businesses are showing a new style of leadership approach applying many of the "soft"? Creative, communicative, collaborative, conciliatory language of the female culture. Sue Thexton who works in media talks about the Alpha male, but emphasises that the best managers are not alpha male but make the most of both male and female, or complex skills, and in fact currently more and more training is about getting people to try to communicate, concentrate and compromise to try to bring all side on board, rather than an adversarial approach.
Neither women nor men need to chose one kind of language, it depends on the kind of culture they're in, but you can choose to go along with it or attempt to change it. Obviously it makes sense to chose the most appropriate, or most effective, and long term it seems that collaboration, conciliation and communication, will go further. Cheri Both added another "c " word when looking at knife crime in the community. Recent Channel 4 TV programme, looking at it as a community issue, and in fact it is often tackled at this level, by local people. I am currently collecting "c" words, all contributions welcome. |
| Events
NLP Conference
The autumn is an exciting time for NLP people, apart from the Jenkota training, my own inspirational talks, there is the NLP Conference, and a chance to mix and mingle with NLP people from across the world, not just Europe. Always come away with new insights, and contacts. My logo represents my love of Archaeology, Egypt, and represents: wisdom, life and truth. I see my work as archaeology of the psyche. I'll be doing the usual QS forums, MBA inspiration seminars in September, and Jenkota will be running NLP coaching training, the man who learnt from Bandler and Paul McKenna. Not to be missed.
August 2009: 7th Coaching at The Millennium Mayfair
September 2009: 19th Introduction to Coaching; 24th Presentation Skills Masterclass
October 2009: 9th - 11th Jenkota Coaching (module 1)
November 2009: 5th - 7th Jenkota Coaching (module 2)
January 2010: 21st - 23rd Neuroscience of Coaching
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Connecting with Bola and Makeover Designs (for your wedding)
Can women have it all? This month is a focus on that question. Very topical with the Equalities Bill going through parliament, and Harriet Harman being vilified for suggesting that people might not wish to have an all male government. This month's highly successful woman found to her cost that she was unable to combine motherhood and her high powered career; so like many she turned to running her own business.
Meet Bola Akinseye, of Makeover Designs:
What was your original career?
I was an estate surveyor. I went to the University of Lagos, Nigeria, one of the best in my time. It was a chance to dream, to look at a piece of dirt and imagine what that could be. I loved it. I practiced as a surveyor in Lagos, with the foremost firm. Then I was head hunted by Mobil International, but later moved to London to be closer to my fiancée. I landed a great job at Shell International and was based at Shell Centre and then Shellmex House.
Why did you decide on a switch of career?
I changed jobs because I had two children in quick succession. In the city, life is fast paced and managing the nanny, nursery and work was very challenging. Losing the trusted nanny made it impossible for me to carry on. I believe children thrive better with their parent than at a nursery. My own mother was a full time mother and the difference is huge. I am a wife and mother first now and a business woman next. It's a huge challenge to go out and do things, make childcare arrangements, be at school plays and sporting events. My current job gives me that flexibility. The achievement I am most proud of is winning the stationer of the year award for two consecutive years.
Advice to young women starting out?
Advice to young women: They've got to have self belief, they've got to allow themselves to fall down, pick themselves up and carry on. That's when a lot of people give up you know. It's okay when things don't go as planned, learn lessons, enjoy the journey, have no regrets. There will be challenging times, love yourself and love what you do. For more information, click here.
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Imposter Moments
In NLP we talk about setting an intent, or "AS IF"...behaving as though you are what you want to become. A colleague calls it an Imposter moment. One of the best imposter moments concerns Anthony la Paglia, an Australian actor working in New York. Best known in TV "Without a Trace", or in Australia "Lantana" and now "Balibo". Every time he went for an audition, he ended up talking about Paul Hogan and prawns and barbies. Something he'd never heard, nor had I. Finally he went to audition in a Brooklyn accent with the back story to match, when they asked where he was from. He got the part and hasn't looked back since. It was also to do with the expectations, or limiting beliefs, of the producers auditioning. Faced with being told he was Australian, all they could hear was an Australian accent!
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Go well in the world. Remember, you HAVE all the resources you need. So often they are so familiar that you don't realise what they are, or when to use them, which is where coaching comes in. I like to think of myself of as an archaeologist of the psyche. Psyche has such wisdom, but if she is swayed by others, she could make bad judgement. A wonderful story. I am looking forward to working with her in my forth coming seminars. August Newsletter 2006. |
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Christina
Woman on a Mission
Diversity and Leadership Consultant
Inspirational Speaker
Alumnus Women of the Year 2008/2009
NLP Master Practitioner, Counsellor and Coach
London +44 (0) 208 653 7893
Melbourne +00 61 3 9563 0028
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