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WOODMERE LANES SPECIALS   

Are You Frum?

By: Joel Moskowitz

I was recently introduced to a friend of a friend on the LIRR and in the course of the conversation she asked me if I was "frum?" I was not wearing my kippah thus I was label ambiguous. (I recommend reading a previous post entitled "The Yarmulke Conundrum," but this site does not archive so I cannot provide a link, but if you're interested contact me and I will send it to you - yoelmosk@aol.com). It is not the first time I've been asked this question and I am always perplexed by it. 

To be fair, I think the question is usually asked to convey a sense of affinity. We all take comfort in socializing with those we have commonality with. I have an ethnically diverse portfolio of friends and acquaintances, but I admit that my closest friends tend to be American and Israeli Jews. On a recent extended overseas trip I looked to find Anglos, Israelis and Jews to socialize with. It was not because I had something against the locals or their culture, I did not, I was looking to share the experience of being an American and a Jew in a place where there is few of either. Thus, in this context I see the search for those like "us" as perfectly normal and acceptable.

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Drasha

Parshas Chayei Sarah

Soul Trustee Volume 5 Issue 5

By Rabbi Mordechai Kamenetzky

When Avraham seeks a wife for his son Yitzchak, he called no one other than his trusted loyal servant, Eliezer. Eliezer was one of the primary soldiers, aiding Avraham during his battle to rescue Lot. Eliezer was considered by Avraham to be his heir apparent until Hashem informed him of the forthcoming birth of Yitzchak. Eliezer was nicknamed the one who drew and watered from his master's Torah. Simply put, the Torah constantly informs us that Eliezer was Avraham's right-hand-man.

Before sending Eliezer, the Torah tells us that "Avraham told his servant, the elder of his household, who was in complete charge of every one of Avraham's possessions, to swear that he would not take a girl from Canaan for Yitzchak. Eliezer swore in the name of Hashem, the Master of the heaven and the earth " (cf. Genesis 24:3).

Avraham instructed his most trusted aid to get the proper shidach (mate) for Yitzchak. He was to go back to Avraham's hometown. The girl had to come from the right family. She must have been raised in the proper environment. And Avraham warned Eliezer that Yitzchak was not to leave the Land of Canaan. His charge was forceful. He made his trusted servant swear. He used strong language. "Be careful - watch out! Lest you bring my son there!" (Genesis 24:6)

The Torah's reiteration of Eliezer's domestic position in this context is perplexing. Isn't the juxtaposition - the glorifying of Eliezer's position as " the elder of his household, who was in complete charge of every one of Avraham's possessions "contradictory with the severe scrutiny and pressure that Avraham placed on him in reference to Yitzchak's matrimonial requirements? If Avraham trusted Eliezer for his entire worldly possessions, why did he make him swear in this instance? And if he had to swear in regard to Yitzchak, then why define him here as "the elder of his household, who was in complete charge of every one of Avraham's possessions"? Isn't the fact that he had to swear, obvious evidence that he, in fact, was not in charge?

Rabbi Yisrael Lipkin of Salant, the founder of the mussar movement, once stayed at an inn. The inn was quite crowded and the innkeeper realized that he was low on meat. Seeing a distinguished and pious-looking Jew with a beard, the innkeeper approached Reb Yisrael.

"Are you perhaps a shochet? You see, I am running low on meat and I must slaughter a cow." Reb Yisrael was taken aback. "I would love to help," he stammered, "but unfortunately I am not a ritual slaughterer."

The next morning Rabbi Lipkin approached the innkeeper. "I have a tremendous business opportunity. If you were to invest a few hundred rubles with me, I can guarantee a nice return."

The man looked quizzically at the rabbi. "Reb Yid," he stammered. "I hardly know you! How do you expect me to invest with you? Give me a few references, and as many days, and let me check out the deal in its entirety. Then we can meet and I'll make my decision."

"Aha!" Exclaimed the great mussar luminary. "Just yesterday, you were about to trust me with the ritual slaughter of your cow. You were going to feed you guests with that meat based on the appearance of my frock and beard. Nevertheless, you would not invest a few rubles on those same grounds. Shouldn't one treat his spiritual skepticism on the same level as his financial uncertainties?"

The Be'er Mayim Chayim explains: the Torah specifically states, in the context of Avraham's admonitions, that Eliezer "was the elder of Avraham's household, who was in complete charge of every one of Avraham's possessions."

When buying stocks and bonds, when investing in real estate, when purchasing appliances or furniture, Eliezer had free reign. Yet when it came to Yitzchak's future that esteem was not enough. Avraham made Eliezer swear in the name of Hashem that he would bring a suitable wife for Yitzchak. Avraham's concern for spirituality and his future were by no means on the same level as those he had for his mundane needs. True, Eliezer was in complete charge of every one of Avraham's possessions. But when it came to Avraham's future, when it came to spiritual decisions, even Eliezer was suspect. For when it comes to your spiritual needs, your sole trustee can never become your soul trustee.

Good Shabbos,

Rabbi Mordechai Kamenetzky

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GHETTO PARSHAH

PARSHAT CHAYEI SARAH

In this week's Ghetto Parsha, Chayei Sara, we find Avraham's trusty servant Eliezer being sent out to find his son, Yitzchak, the perfect shidduch.

  

We see find:

 וְלָקַחְתָּ אִשָּׁה לִבְנִי לְיִצְחָק  (V'Lakachta Isha Li'Bni L'Yitzchak)

And you should take a wife for my son, Yitzchak

  

Avraham, wise in his age and filled in his days, was finally ready to help his son find his  wifey. Avraham's playing matchmaker and calls upon his trusty servant Eliezer to hook his son up with a good woman. In this day in age, shidduchim are hard to handle... And with everything in life, especailly matters which we struggle with, it's smart to look back at how  our holy mothers and holy fathers handled life and reached success and strive to be like that.

They reached success, they're holy, so let's try to learn a shtickle bissle (little bit) from the way this was handled.

  

So Eliezer is being filled in on the 411 by Avraham. The type of girl Yitzchak should have, according to his dad, Avraham, is a girl from a good land (Jewish and positive upbringing), and with total faith, Avraham mentions G-d's words of how to find 'The One'.

Avraham tells Eliezer: "The Lord, God of the heavens, Who took me from my father's house and from the land of my birth, and Who spoke about me, and Who swore to me, saying, 'To your seed will I give this land' He will send His angel before you, and you shall take a wife for my son from there."

  

Wow, total faith yo. Meaning, Avraham knew  that he had to put in effort to ensure a good wifey for his son. He picked a great messenger who is the same messenger that has known Yitzchak since he was a wee lad, and accompanied Avraham and Yitzchak when they were going for the "Akeidat Yitzchak" (sacrifice of Yitzchak). Meaning Eliezer knows the Avinu family pretty well, and with that, serves as a good shadchan (matchmaker). Avraham gives Eliezer the task of getting a good girl from a good land, and then he says something quite extraordinary. That Hashem will "send His angel before you" Not, "an" angel. But, Hashem will send His angel, in order to help in the process of finding the right one.

How often do we feel discouraged and uncertain in the shidduchim before us. We daven hard (pray... hard) for Hashem to help us do the right thing and we pray for signs and clarity.

Avraham was showing us how important it is for us to put in effort to find The One.

CLICK HERE FOR MORE

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D'var Torah   Parshas Chayei Sarah   Found Greatness     By Rabbi Label Lam     And he said, "HASHEM, G-d of my master Avraham, may You so arrange it for me this day that You do kindliness with my master Avraham. See, I stand here by the spring of water and the daughters of the townsmen come out to draw. Let it be that the maiden to whom I shall say, 'Please tip over your jug so I may drink' and who replies, 'Drink and I will even water your camels,' her will You have designated for Your servant, for Yitzchok; and may I know through her that You have done kindliness with my master." (Breishis 24:12-14) ...the world is built on kindliness... (Tehillim 89-3) Eliezer, the servant of Avraham, had very specific criteria in mind when selecting a wife for Yitzchok. His profile seems to be centered on the trait of kindliness. Maybe it's obvious already, but still the question must be asked. Why does he focus his entire test on that single indicator? Midrash Rabba tells us about the world conqueror Alexander of Macedonia and his travels beyond the mountains of Mountains of Darkness. There he befriended the King of Cassia who offered to show him their system of justice. Two men came before the court. One man had bought a vacant lot from his neighbor and then found treasure buried in it. He claimed that he intended to buy land and not treasure, and therefore he insisted that the treasure belonged to the original owner. The other man argued that he sold the land and all that it contained and the treasure should go to the buyer. The King of Cassia addressed the two litigants and asked them if they had sons or daughters. It happened to be that one had a daughter and the other a son of marriageable age. The King's decided that the children should marry so that the treasure remains in the family. When he saw Alexander's surprise reaction to the case and its verdict the King said to him, "Have I not judged well?!" How would you have decided such a case in your country?" Alexander replied, "We would have put both parties to death and confiscated the property." The King of Cassia asked, "Does the sun shine in your country?" "Yes" answered Alexander. "Do you have animals?" enquired the King. "Yes!" replied Alexander. "Now I understand," said the King of Cassia, "If you have rain and sunshine it is not in your merit; it is in the merit of the animals; as it says, "Save O' G-d, man and beast" (Tehillim 36:7) Man is saved in the merit of the beast!" Rabbi Elihahu Eliezer Dessler ztl. comments; "When the two givers brought their case before the King of the Givers, neither wanting to take from his neighbor, more than he had given, the decision was, "Unite!" This is the characteristic of "givers"... The King of the Takers held very different views. He would have condemned to death the virtuous givers as destroyers of the established order of society. Even their property would not go to their children; it would be confiscated by the government. Why all the grandiose talk of political philosophy? Are we not dealing here with something as simple as a mate for the man, Yitzchok? What's the big deal? The girl should be nice enough in order to promote an atmosphere of congeniality at home. OK, but Eliezer was not just shopping for Yitzchok. He was like a contractor sent by the architect to find the strongest building materials for the tallest of edifices. From long ago it was made clear that the "selfish gene" does not survive" while the selfless ones persist from generation to generation. Eliezer was sent to find and to found greatness.

 

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Friday: Sunny, with a high near 47. West wind between 11 and 15 mph. 

Friday Night: Mostly clear, with a low around 36. West wind between 7 and 9 mph. 

Saturday: Sunny, with a high near 51. Southwest wind between 11 and 16 mph. 

Saturday Night: Partly cloudy, with a low around 42. Southwest wind between 10 and 13 mph. 

Sunday: Partly sunny, with a high near 59. 

Sunday Night: Mostly cloudy, with a low around 46. 

Monday: Mostly cloudy, with a high near 54. 

Monday Night: Mostly cloudy, with a low around 41. 

Tuesday: Partly sunny, with a high near 52. 

Tuesday Night: A chance of rain. Mostly cloudy, with a low around 41. Chance of precipitation is 30%.