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Friday August 12th, 2011
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Nesivos Shalom
Parshas Vaeschanan
Extreme Nechamah
Nechamah is good. A double dose is even better.
A medrash relates the doubling of the consolation in the haftorah (nachamu, nachamu ami) to the transgressions that precipitated the destruction for which we need consoling. Chet chatah Yerushalayim, Yirmiyahu lamented. This doubled expression of chet called for the doubled destruction spoken of by Yeshaya: "for she has received double for all her sins." This in turn demanded a doubled consolation
If the medrash meant that Bnei Yisrael sinned prodigiously, it would have said that they "sinned much," not that they "sinned doubly." The medrash's choice of words points to a qualitative, not quantitative increase in the transgression.
Several approaches come to mind. Each teaches us something about the nature of the aveiros we often commit.
The Saba Kadisha of Slonim provides us with the first approach we will consider. Imagine, he says, a prince who grievously disregards his father's command. He is really guilty of two crimes. The first is the deed itself. Any action explicitly forbidden by the monarch is illegal, a crime by authority of the Crown. This level applies equally to all of the king's subjects. The second misdeed is the insult to the king's honor. When someone close to the king, when his own son flouts his will, he undermines his authority and sullies his prestige to an even greater extent than a stranger.
The double crime calls for a doubled penalty. If the son, however, repents his ways and is reconciled with his father, he feels relieved and unburdened, as would anyone convicted of a crime whose sentence was commuted. Additionally, the son feels the warmth of the mutual love between father and son that was jeopardized by his actions, and is now restored. He is consoled in two distinct ways.
Hashem's message of consolation in the aftermath of Tisha B'Av takes on a second level of meaning when we realize that it emphasizes the love between Father and child.
Another approach to the doubled nechamah is sourced in a teaching of the Besht that was often on the lips of the Bais Avraham. The Besht observed that every aveirah must be considered for both the illicit activity itself, and for the inner quality of that activity. At times, the apparent aveirah is quite serious, but it might lack the inner component of sin for a variety of reasons.
The Besht illustrated with a mashal. Travelling to the hinterland of his kingdom, a child from a simple village family threw a rock at him. On the face of things, the act is a serious incident of lese majeste, a terrible affront to the dignity of the crown. An enlightened and compassionate monarch, however, might quickly take note of the boy's failure to understand anything at all about kings and the honor due them. Rather than execute the boy, the king takes him under wing, and educates him about the responsibilities and doings of the royal court. The more the boy learns about the king, his position, and the honor that he is justly accorded by others, the more he looks back with guilt and horror at his childish act of defiance. Ironically, that experience is so painful and guilt-producing that in the course of times he pays a stiff price for his crime. His life is spared, but he hardly escapes punishment, at least in the form of the pain that comes along with his enlightenment.
The Besht linked this mashal to the opening verse of a chapter in Tehilim: "G-d of vengeance, Hashem! G-d of vengeance - appear!"Sometimes, he explained, Hashem will reveal Himself to the sinner. As the evildoer comes to understand more about Whom he has sinned against, he is consumed with guilt and remorse. Hashem "avenges" the wrongdoing by "appearing" to the evildoer and educating him.
Hashem might treat someone this way when He knows that an otherwise serious aveirah lacks the inner rebellion and awareness that figure in the deeds of other sinners. The deed is there; the inner quality of aveirah is weak.
Far more people populate this group of sinners than might be thought. We can advance an argument that most of us are members of this group. One of Bilam's begrudging blessings of the Jewish people reads in part: "He perceived no iniquity in Yaakov. Hashem his G-d is with him." What brings these two thoughts together? Why are they mentioned in the same breath, in the same verse? The point may very well be that Jews make a mess of sinning. They can never seem to get their full complement of enjoyment out of their misdeeds! At the very moment that they fall prey to their baser nature and decide to transgress some precept of the law, part of them already pines away in regret and shame. They fail miserably at turning their backs on their Creator. As they sin, they think of the terrible price they will have to pay in distancing themselves from their beloved Maker. Hashem thus sees no undiluted iniquity in Yaakov, because even when he sins, his G-d is very much "with him," filling him with guilt and prodding him to return.
We now have a second approach to the doubled sin about which Yirmiyahu wrote. The transgressions that he observed in his countrymen fully contained both elements. They were serious crimes. The people, unfortunately, could not claim a tepid and irresolute inner aveirah experience. The inner quality of the sin was intense. They new quite well what they were doing. They committed their aveiros with their eyes open, unperturbed by the Shechinah that dwelled amongst them.
Yet another approach will yield a dividend of solving another mystery about the churban. The first beis hamikdosh was destroyed because of the most serious transgressions - idolatry, illicit relations, and murder. Yet this is not what Yirmiyahu tells us. "How was the land lost?... Through their foresaking My Torah." Which was it - violations of the three cardinal sins, or shortcomings in their commitment to Torah study? Or was it the desecration of Shabbos, which the same navi points to elsewhere?
Once again, bifurcating the aveirah offers us insight - and a solution. Sins are not arbitrary. Each one causes a tear in the fabric of creation. Beyond this evil that is at the heart of the sin, a consequence of the sin can be equally onerous. Whenever we sin, we distance ourselves from HKBH. Sometimes, the reason for the seriousness of a given aveirah is that it moves us intolerably far from Him. Such is the case with the three cardinal sins. Their nature is to open a huge chasm between ourselves and our Creator.
In His mercy, Hashem has prepared the road back for us, even from the far reaches of the exile in which we place ourselves through our corruption. Indeed, the first beis hamikdosh was destroyed because of the incidence of the three worst aveiros in halachah. They left us remote from His presence. Yet we were not without hope. From the distance, we could have chosen several well-charted paths of return. Torah study is one of them. Through it, a Jew can return and cling once again to his heavenly Father. The kedushah and deveikus of Shabbos offers another modality of return. From the standpoint of missing options to correct our misdeeds then, the beis hamikdosh was destroyed because we did not learn enough, and because we did not value Shabbos enough. Our sin was doubled - we committed it, and we failed to accept the Hand of G-d extended to lead us back.
All of these approaches - and several more that could be offered - remind us that aveirah is far more complex than we think. Complications and consequences, often unconsidered, are part of the bigger picture. Upon reconsideration, we should not be surprised that the consolation comes in such a generous portion. We need all that we can get.
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Rabbi Frand on Parshas Va'eschanan
The Easy Commandment
Honor your father and mother, as the L-rd your G-d has commanded you, so that you may live long. (Devarim 5:16)
Why should we honor our fathers and mothers? The Torah gives us one reason in Parashas Shemos (20:12), "So that you may live long." In Parashas Vaes'chanan, however, the Torah gives an additional reason, "As the L-rd your G-d has commanded you." What is the significance of this additional phrase?
The Meshech Chachmah refers to the Talmud Yerushalmi that considers honoring parents an "easy commandment." Every person understands that debts have to be repaid. If someone lends you $100,000 when you need it, you would be only too happy to repay the money once you have enough of your own. It would not be a hard thing to do.
By the same token, every person also understands that he has a moral obligation to repay his debt of gratitude to his parents. After all, the cost of raising a child must be at least between $100,000 and $200,000. Not to mention the time, effort and energy parents invest in their children. Therefore, the least people can do is honor their parents. It is not a hard thing to make such a small payment on such a large debt.
The Torah tells us here that this is not the proper motivation for honoring parents. It is not the self-evident obligation to make at least a small payment on a debt owed the parents. It is an obligation incumbent on us solely because "the L-rd your G-d has commanded you" to do so.
The Torah waited until Parashas Vaes'chanan to make this point, because it becomes most clear after forty years in the desert. During those years, raising children was easier than it ever was, before or since. They did not have to be fed. There was manna from heaven. They did not need to be given to drink. There was water from Miriam's Well. They did not need new shoes and clothing all the time. Nothing ever wore out. Most likely they didn't need orthodontic braces either, because life in the desert was paradise. And still, the Torah demanded that parents be honored. Clearly, the obligation was to obey Hashem's commandment rather than repay a debt of gratitude. By the time the Jewish people had lived through the era of the desert, they could relate to the mitzvah of honoring parents as an independent obligation.
How far does this go? How much do you have to do for your parents? The Talmud responds (Kiddushin 31a) to this question with the famous story about a non-Jew from Ashkelon by the name of Dama bar Nesinah.
The Sages once needed a stone for the Urim v'Tumim, and they heard that Dama had exactly the stone they needed. A delegation came to see him and offer to pay him a princely sum for the stone. The stone was in a strongbox, with the key under his father's pillow. Dama did not disturb him.
"I cannot help you," he told the Sages. "My father is sleeping, and I wouldn't disturb his sleep."
The Sages left.
A year later, a perfect red heifer, suitable for a parah adumah, was born in Dama's herd. The Sages came to purchase it.
"How much do you want for it?"
"I know that you would give me any price I ask," he replied. "But I only want the amount of money I lost by not waking my father last year."
This story establishes the parameters of the mitzvah of honoring parents. The Talmud uses this story to establish the parameters of human nature.
As parents get older, they can become querulous and demanding. They can test the patience of their children. Sometimes, honoring parents under such circumstances can take a lot of patience and forbearance. Is there a limit to such patience? How much patience can be expected of a person? Is there a point where a person is allowed to run out of patience and be exempt from this mitzvah?
This is what the story about Dama bar Nesinah teaches us. The Sages were offering him a huge sum of money for the single stone they needed for the Urim v'Tumim. He knew that if he could only get the key, the money would be his. What thoughts must have gone through his mind? Maybe I'll make a little noise and he'll wake up. Maybe I'll slide my hand under the pillow very slowly so that I'll be able to get the key without waking him up. He must have been very tempted. But he didn't give in. He was able to honor his father even under such circumstances. This was the extent of what human nature is capable.
It follows, therefore, that if Dama bar Nesinah could have the forbearance to forgo such a huge sum of money and allow his father to sleep, certainly a descendant of Avraham, Yitzchak and Yaakov can find it in himself to honor his parents under any and all circumstances.
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Mitzvah Opportunity
The Bresler family has a daughter, Meira, who is very sick. They decided to put together a lesson-a-day style learning in her zechus by email. They just sent the email below, asking to try to add recipients to the list so they can reach 1000. Recently they said that some tests Meira had did not have favorable results, so perhaps they are trying to accrue extra zechusim at this hard time.
In any case, if you are interested in receiving the daily emails, send an email asking to be added to the list to:
ahavaschesedformeira@gmail.com
Sefer Ahavas Chesed Part 2: Chapter 8- Day 2
L'Zechus Refuah Sheleimah L'Chaya Meira Mindel Bas Chava Golda B'Soch Sha'ar Cholei Yisroel
Thank you so much and Tizku L'Mitzvos,
The Bresler Family
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Five Towns Weather:
Friday: Sunny, with a high near 82.
Friday Night: Mostly clear, with a low around 68.
Friday: Sunny, with a high near 84. Northwest wind between 7 and 10 mph.
Friday Night: Clear, with a low around 65. West wind between 5 and 8 mph.
Saturday: Sunny, with a high near 84. West wind 5 to 10 mph becoming south.
Saturday Night: A chance of showers and thunderstorms, mainly after 2am. Mostly cloudy, with a low around 70. South wind between 7 and 9 mph. Chance of precipitation is 30%.
Sunday: A chance of showers and thunderstorms. Mostly cloudy, with a high near 80. Chance of precipitation is 50%. New rainfall amounts between a quarter and half of an inch possible.
Sunday Night: A chance of showers and thunderstorms. Cloudy, with a low around 69. Chance of precipitation is 50%.
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