Monday, July 18th 2011
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THE THREE WEEKS
Rabbi Septimus, Rabbi, YINW
Dear Friends:
Still shaken by the unthinkable tragedy of this past week, we have already been cast under the dark shadow of the "Bein Ha-Metzarim," - the three-week period sandwiched "between the tragedies," between the penetration of the walls of Yerushalayim on the 17th of Tamuz and the destruction of the Beit HaMikdash on the 9th of Av. The Three Weeks officially begin this Monday night, July 18th. The subdued tone reflected in the halachot of the period gradually crescendos, culminating with Tisha B'Av, the Ninth of Av. I have provided an overview of the basic halakhot of this period. As always, I welcome your calls (646-418-1633) and emails (rabbi@yinw.org) with questions about specific details or about anything else.
The Three Weeks
The three-week period of reduced rejoicing begins with the least restrictive level of mourning, starting the night before the fast of the 17th of Tamuz, Shivah Assar B'Tamuz, Monday night, July 18th, and concluding at the end of the month, with the onset of the new month of Av. During this period, we do not listen to music or attend joyous events, and we refrain from engaging in activities that would necessitate a brakhah of shehecheyanu, such as wearing special clothes for the first time. Additionally, getting a haircut is prohibited during this period. (There are various customs with regard to shaving during this initial period, and when business concerns require shaving during the Three Weeks it is permissible, although it is worth discussing particulars with me.)
The fast of the 17th of Tammuz begins at 4:27 am and concludes at 9:02 pm. Shacharit will be at 6:15 am, mincha/maariv 8:00 pm.
Since the destruction of our Temple was the result of baseless hatred, Sinaat Chinaam, now is also an appropriate time for study of the ethics of human relationships. Men and women are invited to our home, 718 Sherwood Street, on Wednesday, July 20th and Tuesday, 26th at 8:45 pm, to learn about jealousy, competition, and self-esteem and how these three topics are intertwined within the Jewish tradition. The discussion will be led and hosted by our rebbetzen, Lisa Septimus.
The Nine Days
The Gemara in Taanit (26b) tells us, "from the onset of the month of Av, we minimize our simkhah (expressions of joy)." The Nine Days this year begins on Monday night, July 31st, Rosh Chodesh Av. Over and above the prohibitions of the Three Weeks just enumerated, we refrain from eating meat or drinking wine, unless in the context of a seudat mitzvah (a meal which is itself a mitzvah), for example at a brit milah, a siyum (the completion of a body of Torah study), or a Shabbat meal. Moreover, it is prohibited to launder or to wear freshly laundered clothing during this period. It is therefore advisable for a person to put on, for just a brief time before the onset of the Nine Days, all the garments he/she will be wearing over the Nine Days. This procedure is not necessary for undergarments. One is also prohibited from bathing for pleasure during the nine days. Bathing because one is dirty or sweaty is permissible, but one should use water noticeably colder than that to which one is accustomed. Swimming is prohibited during the nine days.
The Seudah Ha-Mafseket
The final meal before Tisha B'Av - called the Seudah Ha-Mafseket - is eaten after mincha (please consult the August calendar for times). This non-festive meal is small and restricted, and a "regular" meal before mincha is highly recommended. The Seudah Ha-Mafseket does not have more than one type of cooked food and, according to varying customs, consists of bread dipped in ashes, cold hard-boiled eggs (or lentils), and water. The custom is to sit on the floor or on a low stool during this final meal. No zimmun is performed in the blessing after the meal, and the meal should not be eaten in large groups that require zimmun. After the meal, one may sit normally until sunset. Leather shoes may be worn all day until sunset. All food and drink must be finished by 8:02 PM. For more information, please consult the August calendar.
Tisha B'Av
On Tisha B'Av, following are prohibited:
Eating and drinking Wearing leather shoesWashing or taking a shower; before davenning, one should wash one's hands by pouring water over the length of one's five fingers, without washing the body of the hand itself. One whose hands are dirty may wash them, and someone who must prepare food on Tisha B'Av may do so even if his/her hands become wet. Anointing; this includes use of perfume. The use of deodorant, however, is permissible.Marital relationsSitting on a bench or chair until chatzot (midday), which is at 1:01 pm this year. If possible going to work should be pushed off until that time as well.Greeting others, including saying "good evening" or "good morning."Studying Torah; the Following may be studied: a. Iyov b. the parts of Yirmiyah that deal with destruction, c. Eicha (commentaries and midrashim for these may also be studied) d. Kinot e. the 3rd perek of Moed Kattan f. the stories in Gittin 54b - 58a and Sandhedrin, 104a-104b g. the destruction as described by Josephus h. Yerushalmi at the end of Taanit i. Halakhot of Tisha B'Av and of mourning j. Torah reading may be prepared for the Torah portions read on Tisha B'Av.Men do not put on Tefillin in the morning but rather in the afternoon, before Minchah. At that point, the passage Shir shel Yom (which is skipped in the morning) is also recited.
The Tenth of Av
The restrictions of the three weeks continue past Tisha B'Av until midday of the tenth of Av (1:01 pm this year). Haircuts, shaving, washing clothing, eating meat, drinking wine, listening to music, and swimming, are still prohibited until midday (1:01 pm).
May the Jewish People know only security, consolation, and strength during this difficult period and for a very long time to come, and may we succeed to hasten the redemption through the power of ahavat chinam, free-flowing love and brotherhood.
Wishing you a safe and meaningful Three Weeks,
Rabbi Yehuda Septimus  Outstanding Silver Outstanding Customer Service Bnot Shulamith
Dear Parents: We received this from Chai Lifeline and are forwarding to you in case you have not received it. May the future bring besorot tovot, yeshuot, v'nechamot. From: Chai Lifeline <message@chailifeline.org>Subject: In reference to the terrible tragedy in Brooklyn. As we are all suffering from the terrible tragedy that occurred to Leiby Kletzky a"h in Brooklyn, we are receiving many requests on how to explain to children what occurred and how to help them process the information. Please find below an 8 minute video presentation by Dr. Norman Blumenthal, Chai Lifeline's Director of Crisis Intervention. http://www.youtube.com/user/ChaiLifelineChannel There will be an audio presentation by Dr. Blumenthal at 10 pm tonight (EST). Please call 646-807-0050 to hear this presentation. or you can go to our website at http://www.chailifeline.org/blumenthal
 Lessons for the College-Bound By ALINA TUGEND, NYTimes.com
NEXT month, many parents will drop off their children at college, laden with newly bought sheets, lamps and hampers. They're as ready as they'll ever be to start their new lives. That is, until the next phone call or text asking why the clothes came out of the dryer an odd shade of pink. Or why is the microwave buzzing in that weird way? Or, even more scary: what exactly does the car insurance cover? I'm a few years away from seeing my firstborn off, but in the downtime between worrying about SATs and G.P.A.'s I may as well arm my son with the skills he needs to venture out on his own. First, I had to figure out what those skills should be. Some are no different from what I needed to learn before my freshman year, oh so long ago. But many things have changed. Microwaves were rarer then, for instance, so my generation probably had a better idea of how to cook. We were also expected to do chores. Sadly, many teenagers don't even make their beds anymore. Nor did we have to deal with online banking and debit cards or the ability to just click a mouse and buy something - and the ensuing problems these conveniences can bring. And there was little expectation that our parents would be there to clean up every mess or solve every problem. So what does the recent high school graduate need to know? I asked some experts I've interviewed in the past as well as some newly wised-up parents to draw up a (highly subjective) list. Laundry, certainly not newfangled, was surprisingly high on many lists. Know how to do the basics like separating colors, darks and whites and what water temperatures to use, as well as what shouldn't go in the dryer. My friend Miriam, whose was attending a college orientation for her son when I posed this question, suggested loading up on Shout Color Catchers. I'd never heard of these, but apparently they absorb loose dyes in the wash water to prevent discoloring, in case your daughter throws that bright red top in with the whites. Also, as a previous article of mine noted, there is no need to fill up the soap container in the washing machine. Less is better in this case - clothes come out cleaner, the machine lasts longer and everyone saves money. Speaking of money: if your teenager is opening her first checking account, make sure she knows how to make out a check properly. Most teenagers won't go to college with their own credit cards, but they may have a parent's debit card or a bank account they can access with an A.T.M. card. Of course, they'll need to keep track of their spending. But Lewis Mandell, an emeritus professor of finance and dean emeritus at the University at Buffalo, said he didn't think balancing a checkbook was such a necessity anymore. "They need to have some sort of budget and a general concept of how much they need to get through each period, and what large payments need to come out," he said. "But they don't have to balance to the penny." Greg Daugherty, the executive editor of Consumer Reports, said that students still needed to monitor their accounts to see if there were any A.T.M. or debit transactions that didn't ring true. "Pay attention," he suggested, "and if there's a problem, get in touch with the bank right away." Professor Mandell, who has taught financial literacy for years, said it was crucial to emphasize to your child that credit records get established very early, in ways they may not realize. "If they're late on payment for a cellphone or a cable bill, they begin to injure their credit rating, and it can be on their record for seven to 10 years," he said. And that can really hurt down the line. He also urged parents to teach their children to have "a healthy dose of skepticism" when buying anything, whether it be a shirt online or a service from their own university. "Check out all hidden fees," Mr. Daugherty said. "Know return policies, and find out if the company charges a restocking fee for returns," which is becoming more common both online and in stores. And if they're unfamiliar with a company, go online and search for the company's name along with "scam" or "rip-off" to see the company's reputation on the Web. What about driving? Many students won't have their own cars or even need to drive, particularly if they go to colleges in cities. But in other cases, some will be driving frequently, far from home. I figured that most parents made sure their teenager knew the basics, like how to fill up the gas tank (shame on them and you if they've been driving and have no idea how to do that), and where the jumper cables are in the car. But Philip Reed, senior consumer advice editor for Edmunds.com, offered some suggestions I never thought of. Here's one: What to do if stopped by a police officer. First, though you may panic if you see the red flashing lights in the mirror, be sure to pull over safely. "It's a scary situation," Mr. Reed said. "Keep your hands in sight. Don't get out of the car. Roll down the window." "I told my kids that they will be very nervous and they should know where the insurance and registration cards are," he said. "We always keep one insurance card in the car and one in a wallet." What if you have an accident? First, safely get out of traffic if you can. If there are injuries, immediately call 911, he said. If not, exchange insurance information and take photos with your cellphone of any damage. While it may be helpful to know how to change a flat, even better is to make sure your teenager knows whom to call (besides you) if he needs roadside assistance, like AAA. A number of years ago, I wrote a column about how I was once caught without brakes on the Long Island Expressway and had to sort it out by the side of the road. It was not a pleasant experience. Also, Mr. Reed suggested that carrying a tire inflation kit in the car could spare you the need to change a flat on the spot. I will end with a bunch of random, yet helpful, tips garnered from a variety of sources. Make sure your son or daughter knows how to sew on a button or a repair a hem, change a light bulb (yes, honestly some have never done that at home), tie a tie, defrost a refrigerator (some dorm fridges aren't self-defrosting) and judge how long different foods can stay in a refrigerator before going bad. And here are a few more: How to tip properly, use a microwave safely, strip and make a bed, pack a suitcase and safeguard valuables. That might even include getting a lock for the computer. I heard stories of them being stolen from dorm rooms. And what do parents need to learn? To step back. Try not to fix every problem. Saying "figure it out yourself," or nicer words to that effect, is perfectly acceptable. And believe it or not, somehow they will - just as we did.
 Central Air Conditioning installation and repair Where really nice live people answer the phone to help 24/7.  Fruity, Savory, Creamy, Boozy By MARK BITTMAN
The summertime appeal of ice pops (as they're properly called - "Popsicle" is a trademarked word that's become a default name) is easy to understand. They're sweet, colorful, lickable and a manageably small snack in an age of gargantuan portions. They recall a simpler time, before the era of artisanal-gelato shops. And they're cold. Not surprisingly, though, the Popsicles you buy at the local corner store tend to be sickeningly sweet and neon bright, thanks to an abundance of high-fructose corn syrup and artificial colors. Thankfully, this is something you can easily remedy, since it's child's play to make ice pops at home, as long as you have a blender or a food processor (and for some recipes, not even that); some ice-pop molds, either purchased or jury-rigged; and a freezer. You might be surprised at what you can freeze, and what tastes good frozen. The suggestions here represent just a few possibilities and, I think, interesting ones. Some, like Creamsicle (another trademark) and cherry-vanilla, are re-creations of childhood treats, though without the unpronounceable ingredients. Others, like the entire savory quadrant, were inspired by flavor profiles I've come to appreciate as an adult. The boozy ones, similarly, are intended for a grown-up palate and have enough alcohol in them to serve as an aperitif (try the mojito) or afternoon attitude adjuster. If you don't have, and don't want to buy, plastic molds, just pour the mix into four to six paper cups and stick them in the freezer. After an hour or so, insert a wooden stick into each cup - the mixture will have solidified enough that the stick should stay upright - and continue to freeze until totally solid. To remove the pops from their molds, run them under cool running water for a few seconds to loosen them. Then unmold and lick to your heart's content. FOR RECIPES, CLICK HERE
Wonderful nutritionists to work with. Call Lisa or Ann.
Warm and knowledgeable Rebbe available for the month of August. Experienced in gemara reading and all limudei kodesh. Warm, competent, and energetic. 516-596-8712 (please call morning hours)
********** Message from the President of Young Israel Of Woodmere - Our Collective Sadness
Our shul shares in the grief of the family of Leiby Kletsky, the young boy from Boro Park who was brutally murdered by a deranged "Orthodox" Jew.
We must never forget that 'am yisrael' is one extended family. The Kletzky loss is our loss and the Kletzky pain is our pain.
Several of our members have contacted me looking for a way that our
members can collectively express condolences to the family. We have been informed that a condolence email can be sent to the Kletsky family at
this address:
leibykletsky.letters@gmail.com.
This group will be deliver our letters to the family. They hope to have 100,000 Jews who cared enough to take the time to write, reach out and express
their sorrow for the Kletsky's senseless loss.
I urge you to take a moment to do so, both for the Kletskys, for ourselves, and for the Jewish people
I continue to be amazed by the unique sensitivity of the members of our
community, and I pray that in the merit of the unity and care for our
fellow Jew, Hashem will protect all of Klal Yisrael and our community
from any future sadness and pain.
May Hashem grant peace to the Kletsky
family, and may we each appreciate all of the good in our lives for
which we must be thankful and never take for granted.
Shlomo Zuller
President
Woodmere Lanes
SHOP LOCAL, CLICK ON THE PIC
FOR CIRCULARS
 
Five Towns Weather: Monday: A slight chance of showers and thunderstorms after 1pm. Some of the storms could produce small hail, gusty winds, heavy rain, and frequent lightning. Mostly sunny, with a high near 90. West wind between 10 and 16 mph. Chance of precipitation is 20%.
Monday Night: A chance of showers and thunderstorms. Some of the storms could produce heavy rain and frequent lightning. Mostly cloudy, with a low around 71. West wind between 6 and 10 mph. Chance of precipitation is 50%. New rainfall amounts between a quarter and half of an inch possible.
Tuesday: Mostly sunny, with a high near 91. Northwest wind between 6 and 8 mph.
Tuesday Night: Mostly clear, with a low around 69. South wind around 6 mph becoming calm.
Wednesday: Sunny, with a high near 88.
Wednesday Night: Mostly clear, with a low around 73.
Thursday: Mostly sunny, with a high near 92.
Thursday Night: Partly cloudy, with a low around 77.
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