Getting organized has as much to do with our souls, as it has to deal with our stuff. Balance between chaos and order starts inside before it can be applied outside.

"Dealing with Details", involves recognizing how we are impacted by expectations set internally and those projected upon us from our families, friends, associates and all of the people we care about.   Increases in our expectations creates "the more we have the more we want" syndrome.  It's important to explore how our personal histories can knock us off balance. We have forgotten the concept of "good enough" and strive for "perfect".  This can set us up for disappointment and failure.   Setting small measurable goals keeps us from worry about negative "what ifs" and focuses on positive "what ifs." 

We have values that govern every decision we make.  They start with our perception of the world and how we see ourselves in it, what is important to us and what we believe in. Get organized within the context of your whole life.  There is no need to explore everything - stay in the moment, identify roadblocks and confront issues so you can put them behind you. Look at the big picture as well as the immediate issues. Below are a few reminders and tricks on how to deal with life details:

Prioritize by Ranking 

1-Very, very important - requires my immediate attention

2-Important - I need to be involved but can be assisted

3-Not so important but still needs to be attended to -keep it on the list

4-Not important - cross it off and move on

Delegate Your Priority List

Do the very, very important things

Make a plan for approaching important things 

Get help with not so important items

Go back to the priority list and assign not important things

Research

Think before you act.  This means collect information first, then create a strategy, then implement.

Decisions

List your pros and cons and pay attention to them

Do it.

We all seem to be good at making piles.  Moving things around just adds a step.  When you pick it up, resolve it or dispense with it.

No.

Remember, the power of the word NO.  There are lots of ways to say No.  The trick is to say it.

Preparation

Know how much time you will need to devote to the task and plan it out.  It helps to put it in your planner.    Even seeing what you have planned is a good way to keep it simple and not over-plan.

Interruptions

Let me count the ways... people, email, phone, text, etc.   Since we have the technology, use it - but also know when to turn it off.  Screen calls.  The power is in the script and the person making the call determines the script.

Physical Organization

Desk, purse, drawers, closets, calendars...

Power of Tolerating 

Learn to tolerate and accept "it is what it is".  If we don't, we lock ourselves in the grip of what we most want to avoid.  Engaging in, rather than avoiding the experience, invites a return to more healthy options.

Fears 

Fear can be a fear of success, as well as a fear of failure. Be cautious of self sabotage.

Control

We have the ability to control our reactions, our lists, our day (to some extent), our goals, our future time allotments, our self esteem (self-worth), how we treat others, our diet, our exercise, our communication of needs, our avoidance of toxic people and environments, and in most cases, our "down time".

Relaxation 

Some useful relaxation techniques include: Square breathing, guided imagery or visualization, yoga, massage, acupuncture, the list goes on...

Reduce Stress

Be mindful of things that work and things that don't, eliminating the things that don't.  And try not to get caught in the details. There are many lists that include things like - take a walk, talk to a friend, pet a dog, listen to music, etc.   As with relaxation techniques you can always make one list then...Simply

read it, remember it, do it.  

Where to Begin

Develop a support system and create accountability. This is how you experience yourself and your belief system.  Change "I am a problem to I have a problem". Create rituals, mindfulness, self care values, and signature strengths. Learn to tolerate what is, slow down, open your mind, and avoid pigeonholing yourself.  Develop purpose or recognize already established purpose, stay positive and focused.   Things go better when you feel prepared. You can practice (visualize).  Try to let go of anger and resentment, put mistakes behind you, and be honest- not judgmental. While practicing these techniques, it is important to embrace peacefulness, and silence, focusing on the things you most value.

Beth Pincus, MSW, LCSW,BCD  is the founder and director of the MIND BODY WELLNESS CENTER in Summit where she councils individuals, couples and families. For more information she can be reached at 908-522-1861 or bethlcsw@aol.com