What's New?
Updated Programs
➤ Dancing with Porcupines: Dealing with Difficult People at Work - added a video and a fun new practice activity.
➤ Leading Productive Meetings - added segments on video and phone meetings and a hilarious video clip.
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Recommended Resources
From The Masie Center's Learning 2011 Conference:
Information Overload & Its Effects on your Brain
7 Short videos by Sharon Begley
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Our Services
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Diana Brooks Associates helps people and organizations maximize their success through effective leadership and communication strategies.
A speaker, trainer and coach, Diana provides free initial consultations. She can be reached at 413.458.8263 or through her website at dianabrooksassociates.com.
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Quotable Quote
"If you can't get people to listen to you any other way, tell them it's confidential."
- Farmer's Digest
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& Tactics
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De-Toxify your Workplace Culture
Maybe it's an outgrowth of employees' lack of mobility in the current job market, or just an increase in anxiety about the economy, but many more of my clients are asking how to deal with a perceived uptick in two toxic workplace behaviors that have always been with us: gossip and triangulation.
Gossip and Its Kissing Cousin: Triangulation
Gossip, we all understand: "idle talk or rumor about people or groups." Triangulation is similar but different: the talk is still about other people, but that "idle" factor is gone.
It might look like this: Let's say I have a problem with Party A--perhaps he's taking too long to make a decision about a project segment I need in order to accomplish my own deadlines. Instead of finding the right words to bring up the issue with him (straightforward, two-party dynamic), I bring it up to Party B, creating a three-party, triangular dynamic (I'm Party C in this case).
Conversational Valium
Now, even though I have done zip to solve my problem with Party A, I feel a whole lot better! In fact, I feel good enough to let the problem go for today. Party B, by the way, may actually feel worse, unless she, too, indulged in some of the conversational valium I just shared--and the chances are, she did! On and on it goes, around the office, soothing and bonding, soothing and bonding--very contagious stuff.
So What?
Admittedly, this seems pretty innocent and pretty ordinary. Three small issues, though: (1) Party A is definitely not going to get any better at delivering decisions in a timely way, (2) Party B and I have hardened our perhaps-already-exaggerated opinions about Party A, and (3) I have opted out, since forming the words to work through the issue with Party A would be, well, hard!
Tips for Taming Gossip & Triangulation
If you're seeing some of this among people you work with or supervise, here are a few tactics you can try:
1. Throw the ball back. If a coworker or employee brings triangulation to you, empower her with a question like, "What do you think you should say to him?"
2. Don't add your own story. When there's gossip, you could just smile or shrug or shake your head in shock or puzzlement.
3. Take a supportive role. With triangulation, show empathy, pose a question or two ("Have you tried...?"), even offer to role-play a difficult conversation. Be a mentor, not a parent.
4. Motivate the person to follow through. Ask the person to follow up with you after they have the conversation with Person A: "Let me know how it goes."
Send us your ideas for dealing with gossip and triangulation. We'll pass them along in our next issue.
Copyright 2012, Diana Brooks Associates. All rights reserved. |
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Effects of Information Overload
If you're finding it more difficult these days to  remember a name or track a thought, it may not be age that's catching up with you. According to Sharon Begley, author of Train your Mind, Change your Brain, it could simply be information overload. She detailed her thoughts recently at The Masie Center's Learning 2011 conference. See the video, above left, or browse through all the videos for the conference by clicking here -- Lots o' content from the premier learning & development gathering of the year! |
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