Leadership: Getting Beyond Yes
How to Avoid Repeating Difficult Feedback Conversations
 I'm often asked by leaders and managers with whom I consult, how to avoid having the same feedback conversation with an employee again and again. Take the example of Jill for instance. A Senior VP in a quasi-public company, Jill has "spoken to" her IT Manager Mark twice about his sub-optimal internal customer service. (Although brilliant and capable, Mark consistently overpromises and underdelivers on requested solutions, and people describe his manner as condescending.)
Mark Says Yes (And They Always Say Yes)Each time Jill has spoken to Mark, he said he "got it" and promised to do better. But after a couple of weeks, he would slip back into his old habits. Jill would feel like an idiot of course, wondering why she had wasted her time. "People can't change," she was ready to conclude. What Can You Do? What can managers do to avoid scenarios like this one? To get beyond an employee's "yes" and ensure follow through? I recommended to Jill the best practices below. These assume that you have already had a first (or other) conversation about the matter.
1. Refer to your previous agreement calmly and factually.
2. Note what you've observed--or not.
3. Wait for the explanation and listen.
4. State the desired action or behavior goal (90% of all deadlines met, for example).
5. Receive the "yes, I'll do better" promise positively.
6. Ask what the person will need to do differently to make sure the change happens. Reinforce right actions.
7. Do NOT leave the room before making a follow-up plan (whether a gentle "let's take a look at how this plan is working in three weeks" or a written Performance Improvement Plan). 8. DO follow up as promised and make needed adjustments to the plan.
So...it's now six weeks out from Jill's last conversation with Mark, following the model above. She says his commitment to change seems to be working "so far, so good." Try this system yourself--it really works. And let us know how it goes. © 2011 Diana Brooks Associates Consulting & Training. All rights reserved. | 
