One thing most of us can do to become better at managing others is to stop talking so much! Did you realize the typical manager does almost 80% of the talking in discussions with employees? (So much for employee empowerment.)

 

Try this simple tactic: Each time you talk with one of your employees, spend 20% more time asking questions. Writer David Rock in his book, Quiet Leadership, suggests you can teach employees to think proactively by asking leading questions such as, "If you were to take on this project, how do you see yourself proceeding?" or "What are some of the challenges you anticipate at this point?"

Picture this scene: You just sat down to lunch after a pretty successful morning when you see a particularly tiresome colleague walking toward you. It's too late to escape, so with resigned politeness you offer him a seat. Right away he starts in. "You won't believe what Becky said to me about the IRIS project. I've had it with her sniping. She obviously has it in for me." (And so on.)

 

Geez, you're thinking, it's always the same thing with Jim. He never stops complaining. If the target isn't Becky, it's someone else.

 

What can you say? First, know what not to say. Don't try to make Jim feel okay by adding your own complaints about Becky. Second, don't try to correct his view. That will only reinforce Jim's behavior AND prolong his tirade.

 

Instead, show slight concern (think "empathy lite") and ask him what he thinks he should do about the problem.             Click here to read more.