We all need to breathe.

Have you ever been in a situation where you couldn't get your breath?  Maybe you were under water making your way to the surface but taking longer than you expected.  Or you had a respiratory problem and couldn't get a good breath in.  Have you ever choked?  In those moments, your need to breathe becomes the only thing in the world.  It moves to the top in importance and urgency.

Does anyone remember the 1982 movie An Officer and a Gentleman?  There is a scene where the two main characters are in a simulated aircraft that loses pressure and they have to take their masks off and perform a simple exercise with a deck of cards.  Recall how difficult it got for Sid?  He panicked and flipped out and started clawing away desperately for some air.  The character played by Richard Gere, Zack, takes his own mask and puts it over Sid's face and gets him to calm down and breathe.

When any of us fly, we are trained over and over to put our own oxygen mask on first before helping our loved one.  Imagine trying to help the people you love the most while clawing away desperately like Sid.  But that is what we all do.  We put others first over and over and forget our own need for oxygen.  What happens is at some point we will reach desperation.  It is not selfish to take care of ourselves.  It is our primary responsibility.  If we consistently show up in our relationships, our parenting, our marriages and our friendships as less than our best selves we are cheating others and we are cheating US.

There is a strong current within each of us to care for others and to put importance on our relationships and roles.  I believe we are made that way.  It becomes upside down when we subconsciously decide to put others first and never get around to taking care of us.  There are many reasons this can happen.  Some of us were taught when we were young that being selfish is the worst thing you can be, and we filed that away.  Good people aren't selfish (and I want to be a good person) so I can't take time for myself, I can't change my lifestyle, I can't go after my dream job, I can't be healthy.  "Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?"  (Right, Marianne Williamson?).

Excuses can also get in the way.  These are really just false beliefs; things like 'I don't have time' or 'I am too busy/tired'.  If you believe you can take exceptionally good care of your body, your mind, your soul and your spirit...that is what you will do.  Until you believe it, you will continue to live out your false belief that you can't.  You have to change your heart and mind to change the way you live.  I am so fascinated that Weight Watchers commercials have the word BELIEVE in big, bold letters this year.  I wish I knew if they want us to believe in Weight Watchers, or to finally believe in ourselves, our worth, and who we are.

What does it look like when you put everyone else's oxygen mask on before your own?  Not quite the same as Sid, it is not a physical clawing away in desperation.  It is more a quiet, internal desperation.  Giving up.  What difference does it make if I just eat and eat.  What difference does it make if I spend another evening in front of the computer or television with food.  Who cares if I don't exercise.  It doesn't matter anymore.  I don't matter anymore...

I want to tell you there is NO BIGGER LIE THAN THIS.  You do matter more than you know.  You have a purpose in this world and you are here to make a difference.  Every day that you live in a way that is reaching toward your best self, you are sending a ripple out into your family and the world.  When you live as though you matter, you are telling the people you love that they matter.  At the same time you are teaching them how to live an healthy life of their own.  What better gift to give to the ones you love the most.

How does this translate into daily life?  How do I implement 'believing'?  I do a few things that keep me believing. You will need to find ones that work for you.

Body:  I keep moving like my life depends on it.  Although there may be strong inertia to be still once you are still, I feel that movement is a much more authentic way of being.  I seek out ways over and over to move my body.  It does so many things for me.  It gets my heart beating.  It produces good brain chemistry.  It teaches me that I am capable of more than I thought.  It teaches me to be brave.  It gets me outside with nature.  It seems to encourage better food choices.  All these things contribute to feeling my best and reinforcing that I do matter.

Mind:  I seek out teachers that I trust and respect to teach me how to live authentically in a world that wants nothing more than my false self; my mask.  I read, I study, I practice.  It is my responsibility to keep feeding my mind things that support and encourage my journey, not fill it with lies from the media and marketing.  Watch what you read! If you are interested in who my favorite teachers are, I'm happy to share them.  Just email me.

Soul:  My heart and soul require constant care.  As many of you know, I lived with a broken heart for many years.  It expressed itself in self-destructive life choices and I am a perfect example of someone who had just about given up.  Then there was this little whisper from inside that said please don't forget about me, I'm still here.  I found some support groups to deal with my losses and my pain and it's been pretty amazing ever since.  Anything can be healed.  Don't ever give up.

Spirit:  I believe we all are spirits that needs nurtured.  I also believe it is your personal journey to find that which will nurture you.  All I know from my own life is that a spirit ignored is a life that feels lost and without purpose and a spirit that is acknowledged and loved is a life filled with joy and peace that's hard to understand.

You matter.  You are important.  Make time for yourself, put your oxygen mask on first, and THEN help everyone else around you. Let your light shine and you will make the world a brighter place. Now get moving.