Guess what I did at 7:00 tonight?  I went for a run outside.  I got in 45 minutes and burned 412 calories before it was dark.  I hope you got outside this weekend and got some miles in.  Walk, run, bike, dance, swim, it doesn't matter.  What is important is getting into your heart rate zone and doing it consistently.

I was actually a little outside my zone again on this run.  My average heart rate was 146 and I'm aiming for 138.  My music was just so good and the cool air made me want to move.  I knew I was higher than my target but sometimes I just need that mental boost of running faster.  I've been eating all evening and I know that is why.  But I made the choice and I'll happily deal with the consequences.

During the run, I started to feel the two sides of me battling.  Stay in your heart rate zone, said one.  No, said the other.  Come on, you know you are not burning fat at this heart rate.  I know, leave me alone.  Dummy.  Stupid head.

Do you know this conversation?  Perhaps while you are eating something sweet there is a part of you yelling to stop.  Put the spoon down!  Close the bag!  But you don't.  It feels like you can't.  You've been possessed by a crazed carb-craving maniac.  Or you sit for an entire evening watching television,while a voice in you begs you to put your workout clothes on and go walk but you don't.

I really hate the battle.  It robs me of my peace of mind.  But I've found a way to stop it - by making a choice.  This is a really difficult thing to do and I'm still learning.  But I recognize it now.

Here's what I used to do.  Buy a half gallon of ice cream, telling myself that I would measure out single servings and it would be fine.  Then for whatever reason, I would eat way more than a single serving and berate myself the entire time I was eating it.  If I enjoyed it at all, it came at such a high cost.  All that self-violation stuck with me and left me with a sad heart and broken spirit the next day.

Or all day I would think about working out.  Then I would get home, eat, sit down to watch tv and never get to my workout.  But I was thinking about it the whole time.  I'm sure I didn't enjoy that show!  How could I with the racket going on in my head about how I sucked and would never get anywhere.

Here's what must happen.  Take radical responsibility for your choices and then love them, enjoy them, be at peace with them, learn from them.

So now, if I really want ice cream I make a trip to Knights and I eat it- the good stuff.  I enjoy it and I ooh and aah and close my eyes and savor every creamy bite.  I have learned that I cannot have Knights ice cream every day so I choose to have it occasionally, but when I do I love it.  No self condemnation, no self hatred.  Only joy.

And if I want a night of television and relaxation, I decide that and then give myself that time.  The decision is off the table and working out is no longer an option.  I choose to chill out.  This works as long as I don't choose this day after day.  But the time I take to relax needs to be savored without judgment.

I know the fear.  If I allow myself to enjoy the ice cream, won't I want it all the time?  Or what if I end up never working out and just spend my time watching tv?  I don't believe that will happen.  It didn't for me.  When I took radical responsibility for my choices, that included all my choices.  I know the consequences of eating too much ice cream.  (See my fat picture if you forget.)  I know the consequences of chilling out every evening and not working out regularly.  My memory is very clear about this.  I didn't feel good about myself, I had no energy, I was depressed and stuck.

I choose to work out consistently because it keeps me at a healthy weight, it keeps my mental health in check, it keeps my energy high, and I feel good about myself when I do.  I choose to eat healthy food most of the time for those very same reasons.
 

So ten minutes into my run tonight, when my favorite song came on my iPod as I turned the corner up the Main Street hill, I heard the beginning of the mental battle.  Yes, no, yes, no.  But I knew what to do.  Make a choice.  I ran hard and felt the rush and loved every minute of it.  No regrets, all joy.  I choose.

Every day you are either choosing to exercise or choosing not to.  An important step in growing is owning that.  It wasn't the weather, your schedule, or anything else.  You chose not to.  And every day you are either choosing to eat healthy food or you are choosing not to.  Get radical with your responsibility to yourself.  Make your choice then stick with that choice.  Back it up.  Give yourself the love and support even if it wasn't the best choice in the world, learn from it, and move on.  There will be hundreds of new better choices to make tomorrow.

Now get moving!
 

Whole food idea: Sue's Chipotle Bowl

One medium red onion chopped
Chopped garlic- I use pre-chopped in the jar ~ ½ tsp
Heat skillet and spray with nonstick or olive oil
Heat onions and garlic until the onions are cooked ~5 minutes
Add 3 chopped red bell peppers - chop them in large pieces
Heat that until peppers are slightly cooked- keep them crisp
Add one 15 oz can organic black beans rinsed and drained
Add one small package frozen corn (let it thaw in the strainer w/the black beans)
Heat in microwave for 90 seconds then add one 8.5 oz pkg Seeds of Change Quinoa and Whole Grain Brown Rice (you can use any grain- they sell these in envelopes in the whole foods section at Kroger)
Let simmer for 5 minutes then add two 15 oz cans no salt organic diced tomatoes with liquid
Add at least 1 tbsp hot sauce- I added more.  I used Cholula Chili Lime sauce.
Lots of ground black pepper.  Any other spices you like.  Let this simmer low for 20 minutes.

Makes a lot.  Keeps well in the fridge all week.  About 120 calories for a big bowl.
Add cooked ground turkey or grilled chicken for more protein.