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Motivation
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"The Guru's Cat" from Anthony De Mello, The Song of the Bird
"When the guru sat down to worship each evening, the ashram cat would get in the way and distract the worshipers. So he ordered that the cat be tied during evening worship. After the guru died, the cat continued to be tied during evening worship. And when the cat died, another cat was brought to the ashram so that it could be duly tied during evening worship. Centuries later treatises were written by the guru's disciples on the religious and liturgical significance of tying up a cat while worship is performed."
I love this little lesson. The first time I read it was in the book Eat Pray Love. I see how, in my life, I've made misinterpretations of events that led to a long list of false beliefs about how my life works. Some of my false beliefs? I don't have self-discipline. I'm not a morning person. I'm not athletic. I don't like vegetables. I can't make changes in my life. I can't be happy. I'll never be good enough. I don't matter.
The best thing that has ever happened to me was a crisis in my emotional and spiritual life that made me look at all these lies and decide if I was going to continue to live under their power anymore, or if I was ready to break free and live a new way. All I knew was my way didn't work.
From a health perspective, I wanted to be a non-smoker so bad. And I wanted to be at a healthy weight.
I realize as much as I wanted to quit smoking for my health, I really wanted what I believed I would feel like if I quit. I believed people would stop judging me. I would no longer be under the control of an addiction. I would feel better about myself. I would feel in charge of my life. I would have self discipline. I would be happy.
I think losing weight was the same for me. Yes, if I lost 5 pounds or 50 pounds my cholesterol and blood sugar improve. My clothes fit better. I become healthier. But that wasn't my motivation. Ever. My motivation was internal. I wanted to know what I would feel like if I didn't dislike myself so much for weighing more than I wanted to. I wanted to do what I said I would do instead of always feeling stuck and hopeless.
My true goals: Confidence. Self-discipline. Feeling good about myself. Freedom. Joy.
From one of my favorite authors, Debbie Ford: "What if you discovered that what you are craving is not the outside goodie -- the new career, the fit body, the loving family -- but the feeling that you think you'll experience when you get it?"
Here's what I learned on my winding, crooked path. Losing 5 pounds or 50 pounds does not create a feeling of confidence or self-discipline. I don't feel better about myself because I'm thinner. The freedom and joy I experience come from the changes I made to get here.
I learned to get up earlier to fit a workout in. It feels so good to plan it the night before and do it the next morning. I get to take that feeling with me all day that I DID IT.
I learned many strategies to eat healthier, lower calorie versions of the foods I like whether I am on vacation, at a party, out to dinner, with friends, or alone. It feels good to not have the self loathing melt down (often) from the free pass overeating I used to do. Every day that I make slightly better choices, I feel better about myself and I heal from all that self judgment.
I believe when we see that we are making progress toward what we want out of our lives, we feel powerful, hopeful, and confident. Each time I experience those feelings, I want more! And it motivates me from the inside out to keep going, keep fighting, make changes, and stick with them. I never want to go back to the days of self loathing and hopelessness. By pressing onward and never giving up, I believe it is possible for everyone to begin to experience the freedom and joy that comes with knowing that you, and only you, are capable of creating a life that you absolutely love.
Now get moving!
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