Motivation
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No more running streak.
I made it to day 100 then stopped due to the nasty respiratory virus that's going around. The doctor prescribed rest and I listened.
A few interpretations of this:
1) I quit and failed. The goal was to run at least one mile every day from November 1 - February 28 and I didn't make it.
2) I had a perfectly good excuse so I don't have to call it a failure. No one should be expected to exercise when they are ill.
3) My self discipline sucks. With only twenty days to go I couldn't toughen up and run one slow mile each day? I could have done that.
4) I always fail. I don't know why I even try. Never again.
5) My friend Mandy has made it longer than me. So has Michele. And Greg is about to pass me.
6) I ran 100 consecutive days through Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years, Vacation, and snow. YAY!
7) I am proud of myself for giving a running streak a good shot. I learned a lot.
All of these thoughts have spent time in my head this week, some for a split second, others for days. In the past, I could have easily latched on to some of the darker interpretations. Number four used to be one of my favorites, but it was attempting to quit smoking that would usually send me into that kind of pit. I would spend months gearing up to quit again. I would get sick of smoking to the point that I was ready. Then I would have a ceremonial last cigarette and go to bed determined to quit the next morning. Usually by 2:00 PM I was at a gas station buying smokes, hating myself for failing and for even trying because now look what I caused -- a major self esteem meltdown and nothing was worth feeling like this.
But I haven't allowed myself to go there. To do that, I had to really think about why I started this to begin with. I began the running streak to find a way to stay focused on exercise through the holidays and the winter. I wanted to come out of the other end of winter feeling better about myself than I had going in. I wanted to feel empowered by winter, not depressed by it.
Here's the paragraph from my earlier newsletter:
"I decided to light a fire of motivation in my gut for this winter. It would be too easy to focus on the cold, the dark, my fears, my mistakes, what I can't do, what I didn't do.
What can I do? I can run. So I am going to run every day between now (I started 11/1) and Feb. 28th. Today was day eight and I feel like a new person...I feel excited about the winter, and I am pumped up that I made a challenge for myself and I'm sticking with it."
As I meditate on these words, and allow myself to dig into their meaning, what I remember is my passion. I would define my passion as heart-centered transformational women's work. This work is something I need to be at the center of my life, and it is my passion to bring it to other women as well.
So then my question becomes, how did creating a one hundred day running streak support my passion? And the exciting answer is that it changed me. I was transformed. Every week, week after week, I learned another lesson, fought another battle, took another step.
And as I communicated this journey with others, they in turn learned lessons, fought battles, and took steps and then shared it. We were all changed, if only in some small way. Your circumstances may say one thing, but dig deeper and find your purpose. Find your reason. What seems like a momentary shortcoming may indeed be part of some transformation and all you need is to be able to see it.
Now get moving!
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