What Do You Say Communique'
 January 2012 - Feel the Fear
Monthly eNewsletter
 
Greetings!
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Earlier this week I was feeling fear as I navigated thru the mountains of I-74 West from Palm Springs to San Diego.

I don't like driving thru the mountains and I've avoided that route on past trips to Palm Springs.

However, this week I chose to push past my fear on my way home from a speaking event in that area in order to avoid the I-10/I-60 rush hour.  I ended up getting home almost 30 minutes sooner than I would have if I'd taken my usual route past the "energy-saving windmills" (pictured below).
Palm Springs Windmills
Plus, I decided that this would be a good start on one of my 2012 goals which is to "feel the fear and do it anyway" as the popular Susan Jeffers' book title suggests. 

On that note, the focus of this edition of the What Do You Say Communique' is on feeling the fear.  Take a look at the strategies for responding to some potentially scary communication situations. 
 
Also, try the Feel the Fear Experiment.
   

I wish you all the best in facing your fears and I look forward to connecting with you in the new year!


 Sarita's Signature 
 
Professional Speaker, Communication Expert & Author of
"If You Can't Say Something Nice, What DO You Say?"
 
Book Cover - Search Inside
 
 

How to Overcome Fear of Tough

Communication Situations

 

When the other person is...

  

ANNOYED/ANGRY
 

  • Allow them them to vent, but don't take it personally
  • Acknowledge their angst : "I know this situation can be annoying."
  • Ask how they would like to see the situation resolved
     

OVERWHELMED

 

  • Maintain a calm demeanor, but never say "calm down."
  • Show compassion thru facial expressions, nodding and eye contact
  • Help the person narrow down their concern: "Sounds like you have a lot going on.  What's the issue that you'd most like to address?"
     

 

ANXIOUS 

  • Allow them to share their anxiety and conern.
  • In an even voice tone, ask how you can help:  "What would be most helpful to you right now?"  

  

 

 IMPATIENT/URGENT 

  • Mirror the other person's urgency with head nodding and rate of speech.
  • Let them know what action your're willing to take to help.

 
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An Experiment...

Feel the Fear 

  

Pick one or more of the suggestions below  

 

1. Say good morning for 7 days to each person you see.  Don't expect a response, just say good morning.

 

2. At the next social gathering, introduce yourself to at least 3 strangers (not all at once) and chat for a few minutes.

 

3. Go somewhere alone (movie, party, etc) or be the only "single" in a group.

 

4. Refuse a date honestly ("I'm flattered, however I'm going to pass.")

 

Click here for more suggestions

 

    

 


Eleanor Roosevelt 
Thoughts on Fear
"Do one thing every day that scares you."

"Believe in yourself.  You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you stop to look fear in the face...You must do that which you thing you cannot do."
 
"I believe that anyone can conquer fear by doing the things he fears to do, provided he keeps doing them until he gets a record of successful experience behind him." 


    
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