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Now that school is in full swing, we are seeing anxiety (best defined as "fear where there's no real threat") rise up to haunt our kids' school days and evenings at home. Anxiety can kill an education. It creates a "behavior problem" where there could be a good student. And so often adults only see unwanted "behavior" without realizing that the behavior is communication of a real feeling.
Since kids are too young to express themselves directly, they act out. They can't say, "I am so anxious because all the other kids can do their math really fast, and I am so slow. I feel like a failure!" but they can resist homework at every turn, oppose efforts to help them, and refuse to get up in the morning.
Here are 5 tips for reducing homework anxiety:
1. Plan in advance for homework: where, when, lighting, music, etc. Use your child as an expert in "How I do things that work for me." Listen carefully for suggestions, and really use them, saying, "Wow, what a great idea! I wouldn't have thought of that!" Even if the ideas seem unconventional to you, they may be perfect for your child.
2. Your child may have auditory processing issues, meaning the brain doesn't actually get the meaning when you say, "Time to get that homework done." (If you have repeat yourself several times, this may be a good hint that auditory processing is an issue.) Use a visual cue, such as a photo of your child doing his or her homework.
3. Be sure you are asking for homework to be done when the child is not hungry or overly tired. Provide a snack and a 15-minute rest first.
4. Offer help when your child needs it, but don't start the session sitting near him. Say, "I'll be finishing the kitchen clean-up. Just let me know in a gentle voice if you need help." This keeps the responsibility (and the empowerment) with the child, where they belong.
5. Relax about the outcome. Every child learns at her pace. If your child struggles, visualize her having what she needs to learn at some point in the future. The time pressure to "get it now" is unrealistic for many kids, and with help at school and a relaxed attitude from you, the time will actually be shorter. This is because when the child doesn't have the hurdle of extreme time pressure, she can relax and learn the material or skill.
And please send this to anyone you know who might be struggling with homework.
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NEW! Want to get your parenting mojo back, or have some for the first time? Visit my new web site, Parentingmojo.com! You'll learn about parent coaching, and get a chance to decide if it's for you!
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New Virtual Parent Coaches' Certification Starts on
Monday, October 25!
Anyone with a Four-Year Degree in a Child-Related Field Can Be Certified!
Have you thought about becoming a parent coach, and how using your knowledge could enhance your life and the lives of so many parents? Join us for the next class, and expand your horizons!
You'll need:
- A computer to follow along on presentations that are e-mailed to you
- A cell phone with good service, or a landline
- 6:30-8 p.m. on Mondays from October 25 to December 13 free with no distractions
- Dedication to working with families one-on-one during your training
- $1200 if you sign up before October 15, and $1500 after that
Call Tina today at 651-453-0123 to get started on your new career as a parent coach.
"There's no more important work in the world!"
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Open-to-the-public at
Unity in the Heart, St. Paul and
LearningRx Chanhassen:
Unity in the Heart, 1898 Iglehart Ave., St. Paul, MN
Wednesdays Oct. 6 and 27 6:30-8:30 p.m. $15 per session
LearningRx, 600 Market St., Chanhassen
Thursdays Sept. 30, Oct. 14, and Oct. 21. 7-8:30 $15 per session
Parents of kids of all ages will want to attend! I'll be offering specific ways to bring out the best in your child. Attendees will have their own specific questions answered!
Call 651-453-0123 to register for Unity in the Heart.
Call 952-949-6900 to register for LearningRx. |
Too busy or too far to drive? If you would love to have personal parent coaching, Tina offers sessions on Skype!
Sign-up and calls or video conversations are free. We can either just talk using our Skype user names (mine is tina.feigal) and computer microphones, or if you have a camera on your computer, we can see each other on the screen. Visit Skype.com for details.
Let your out-of-state friends and relatives know about my coaching, too. Skype is a perfect way to connect with people from all over the world. And there's still phone coaching ... there's never a reason not to be coached!
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Tina Feigal
Center for the Challenging Child, LLC
651-453-0123 |
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