The largest longitudinal study is the Minnesota Texas Adoption Research Project. The Study clearly identifies some very specific benefits of open adoption for each triad member.  Yet families seeking guidance in planning agreements may be disappointed to find that the study does not delineate specific ages of the child or numbers of contacts as being in the best interests of the child; and there are not significant differences in adoptee's adjustment or self-esteem correlated with levels of openness defined as including direct birth parent contact for the child.  Once again one understands that what is right for one child may not be right for another child, and while openly helping a child to understand his adoption is imperative,  when to open relationships between the child and the birth parents still needs to be determined on a child-by-child basis.
 
Both the study and IAC Center counseling experience have found that adoptive parents become more comfortable with contact with birth parents that includes the child when relationships and trust build more naturally, boundaries and roles are clear between birth and adoptive parents, and adoptive parents initiate most of the contacts based on their perceptions of their child's personal and developmental needs.   Getting to know eachother post-adoption can ease the way to make these relationships more comfortable for everyone.
 
Optimally the IAC Center reccomends front-loading the agreements with visits in the first three to six years, before the child is a more conscious participant, and allowing the adoptive and birth parents time to get to know each other better. Relationships cannot be legislated but the agreements can best be seen as a way to set the stage for some post adopt communication between adoptive and birth parents so they can remain open to building a more natural relationship that suits their comfort level and the individual child's needs.  We strongly reccommend that IAC Center clients Under Promise and Over Deliver, so no one gets hurt and so relationships go at a pace that is comfortable and natural for everyone involved, and allowing for everyone to learn what is in the best interests of the particular child.
 
Some families and children find that they are more comfortable talking openly about adoption and birth parents than having direct open adoption relationships that include the child with the birth parents. Some families prefer to wait until the child is older and self-initiates interest in knowing their birth parents; and to be attuned to the particular child's developmental and personality needs. Other families are comfortable with some intermittent contact, and others with more regular contact, because they find the contact mitigates their child's fantasies and provides a source of good feelings.
 
Since there is no one size fits all model, deciding how much and what type of post-adoption contact is right for your family is typically difficult. IAC Center Counselors offer education, counseling and advocacy for both adoptive and birth parents in creating these agreements. These contracts are about still largely unexplored waters likely to stimulate huge waves of emotions, many of which will not even be apparent until after the adoption. Since the Center does not do adoptions, many adoptive and birth parents are comforted by the neutral setting and appreciate having an advocate at such an emotional yet important decision-making juncture.  We understand that even if there was a ton of research, most people would still find it difficult to make timely decisions mindful of long term considerations about what is right for their child and their family.  Meet baby/Plan future is simply too tall of an order for most people!