Fall has always been my favorite season, everything from the changing leaves to excellent biking, and that unmistakable sense of new beginnings and opportunities in the air.  As a displaced New Yorker living in Pennington NJ, I have to say biking is one of my favorite aspects of moving here. From our house we enjoy biking through woods to hidden streams and ponds, alongside a river to charming little towns, and past fields with horses. If you are coming to the Pennington IAC Center for a weekend session or a workshop, you may want to throw your bike on the car and have us direct you to a bike path along the Delaware River; or take some time on foot to explore Lambertville or Princeton, NJ or New Hope, PA.

 
One of my least favorite aspects of moving to NJ is that everything is either 20 minutes or an hour or more away. I actually felt sorry for clients traveling to the Pennington IAC Center and extended the traditional 45 minutes session to one hour out here!  Also in response to this, I have opened conveniently located IAC Center offices in Montclair, Red Bank, Summit, Princeton and Pennington, NJ; and New York City. Check out the map for our new locations where counseling, groups and some workshops will be offered this year.
 
New is exciting, yet can also stir up many other complex feelings.  IAC Center clients who are beginning infertility treatment, donor reproductive options or the adoption process; embarking on new parenting; or entering new stages of their child's development or their own lives, all seem to have certain feelings in common. Typically, along with excitement and hope, they express anxiety, uncertainty, a wish to learn and at times a sense of isolation or a feeling of being out of control.
 
My favorite client statement this month (ok, I don't have one every month) was made by a man who clearly loves his wife. He said to her in a discussion about family building options, "Hope is not a plan." He is right and yet hope is often where real planning begins.
 
How do you move yourself from hope, especially when it follows loss or disappointment, toward new dreams?  How do you get to a place where you can create a proactive plan that will work and that you will be really happy with?  Whether you are dealing with family building or family issues, we have found that these are the 3 most frequently helpful steps for creating or dealing with change:

The IAC Center model has successfully combined counseling; support groups and psycho-education to help our clients navigate these life changes, hurdles or opportunities, depending on how you look them.
 
Probably the most important ingredient is to give yourself some time to let your thoughts and feelings simmer, to see if new ideas occur to you or come together in your mind; or particular feelings or needs persistently rise to the surface.  Wanting quick answers is understandable, especially if a problem has been bothering you for a long time or bothers you a lot. Processing takes time and getting started is actually moving forward.
 
Many people find that the only way to really move forward is to take one step at a time. And to simply trust that the first step will move you forward and that if you keep going one step at a time, you will get to a better place.
 
Yet first steps can be hard to figure out, are different for different people and may not always be what you expected them to be.
 
Here are some first steps you may want to consider, some obvious, some quirky, maybe one that will work for you:

IAC Center's goal is to meet the needs of individuals and families whose lives have been touched by infertility and adoption. 
 
We are here for you at all points in your journey,

IAC Center Director

These 5 workshops will be offered for continuing education credits for social workers.  We are getting a lot of requests for a web training component and are looking into this, and will let you know if we can do this soon.

To sign up contact IAC Center at 609-737-8750 or follow the links above to locate registration links.

This project looks very interesting and your contribution would be greatly appreciated. The researcher will present her results at IAC Center in the Spring.
 
A Request for Volunteers- to share your reflections on your experience with unsuccessful In Vitro Fertilization.  I am researching how infertility treatment changes peoples' ideas about themselves and about the life course. With your insight, this study will help others make sense of the IVF process as a part of their lives and explore how to make decisions in the pursuit of parenting.

If you have had at least one In Vitro Fertilization treatment, ended treatment 2 or more years ago, and have decided whether or not you will pursue another option or treatment...please consider being a part of this research! Your participation will involve two to three 60-minute interviews over a six-month period. Your anonymity & privacy are assured.
 
In the Spring, the research will be shared in a paper presentation, followed by an informal discussion with the audience. This event will be open to all who wish to attend.

For more information about this study, please contact me at kmaley@eden.rutgers.edu or call (614) 905-0504. Thank you!

Kate Maley, student, Department of Anthropology, Rutgers University