grabs the lever that prompts the door to open abruptly and with a big smile and a large cup of coffee says: "Good Morning!" A smile that big can only signify that summer is officially over because the next time we see him smile that big is when school's out for summer. 

Kissing them each and giving them last minute advice and instruction, they jump on the bus and squeeze together tightly perched on the steep steps. Barely fitting together anymore, the three turn around, smiling through their gritted teeth managing to hold the pose so I could snap the last of the first day of school pictures. Before I could finish blowing one last kiss, the bus shoved into gear scooting kids to their seats, spitting out gravel and leaving me in a trail of dust that lingered in the crisp air. Taking a sip of my coffee and looking out at the lake I realize, summer is officially over!

I'm officially "back to work." When the bus rolls, so does my mouth. Well, for speaking that is. I'm glad to be back and feel rested and rejuvenated after the summer months. I hope you are all feeling the same. If this is your first time reading my newsletter, it is meant mostly for entertainment purposes. I highlight real life events and happenings.  It is a slice of life column which is meant for you to laugh, smile, perhaps ponder and act. Happy Fall to each of you!

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"You were magnificent, the highlight of our day!  Women said they haven't laughed that hard in years!  They not only were bent over from laughter, but your message of living your legacy will resonate with them for the rest of their lives.  The accolades just keep coming in!"
Dennis Doeden, Publisher - Bemidji Pioneer Press - Bemidji Women's Expo, September 8, 2007

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Moms Wear Spandex... Beauty is in the Eye of the Beholder

"Mom, please take no offense about this statement but I gotta tell ya - It's about those black shorts... and the red ones... and the blue ones." I looked over in a questioning manner as my 15-year-old son rattled off all of my summer favorites. I must have lifted my eyebrows, crinkled my nose and bit my lip all at the same time because his next sentence was;  "Moooooom... don't pretend like you don't know what shorts I'm talking about. You know exactly which ones they are because they are the only ones you always wear. You know which shorts I'm talking about... the ones that have more than 10% spandex and they say one size fits most. The ones you only USED to wear around the farm."

"Oh those!"  Like I didn't know which ones he was talking about. "Yes, what about them?" I replied. "I'm asking that you pleeeeeze do not wear them in public." He replied.    

Blurting out in self defense, "But Adam's Mom and her sister both wear the same kind of shorts. And, have you seen Rachel's Mom in town? I seldom see her when she is not wearing black biker or spandex shorts and a cute t-shirt."  He starts muffling a laugh.  "Mom, number one, Adam's Mom is in her 30's and his aunt, she doesn't even have kids yet. Point number two, they have them on because Adam's Mom and her sister probably just ran into town. They are both long distance runners! And what can I say about Rachel's Mom? She used to be a model and really Mom there isn't much that Rachel's Mom wouldn't look good in. You know what I'm saying don't you Mom?" 

"Well, in my mind, I'm a runner!" I exclaimed. My son gave me that nod and moved his head slowly up and down. "Sure Mom, you're a runner," speaking as though he were talking with a delusional crazy person. "And I'm expecting to be the next President of the United States," he said. I went on, "I run the three of you to play practice, band, choir, volleyball, basketball, track and church activities.  So, you see I am a runner!"

"Mom, my final point is this; "I don't want to hurt your feelings, but you've got a couple of dimples that spandex shorts are not kind to." I laughed hard as he gave me his last bit of teenage wisdom. "I think I get it! They are not flattering, is that what it is you are trying to say?" Like a light bulb moment, he exclaimed, "BINGO!" 

I'm a jokester at heart and this past Sunday morning I came down the steps jewelry in tact, make up on and hair done to perfection. And, of course, I was wearing my Sunday best Spandex. I asked if everyone was ready to go to church. Jaws dropped and heads hit the cereal bowls with laughter and awe as I grabbed my coat. "Whats the problem?" I asked. The teenage peanut gallery went silent. "Haven't I always told you, "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and that God has a terrific sense of humor?"

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