December 5, 2006 - Be the Change!

Greetings from NW Minnesota! -- Finally!  I am blessed to have been able to share my message of "living life deeper" with thousands across the country and everyone keeps emailing and calling asking; "when are your going to start writing your newsletter so we can have a little piece of you every month?"  Well, bear with me, as this is my first attempt at mass correspondence. Although I am a humorist speaker who addresses real life issues, not all of my musings will be belly laughs.  They are pieces of the master puzzle that I'm perplexed with or lessons learned along the way from audiences or from my personal life.  Hopefully, you may garner a tidbit or two that will benefit you as you go out and make positive differences in this great world of ours. I would certainly welcome any feedback, comments, constructive criticism or ideas for ongoing correspondence. Thank you for your ongoing support of my messages.  If you or an organization is hiring a keynote speaker, I do hope you will think of me.  My messages as most of you know are poignant, funny and almost always life changing.

Life for whatever reasons and choices winds and weaves itself often throwing a curve ball allowing us to check our response time.  By design, our family has made a change in physical location to simplify our loads.  We purchased an old home (130 years old to be exact) on an acreage which needed some TLC.  Actually, in retrospect, it needed HTW (hard tough work)  This past month, nearly a year after purchasing the property, we sold our home of 14 years and moved into a 1,000 ft. smaller home still in the midst of remodeling.  I had never given change much serious thought, however the precipitation of this move was the stark realization just how difficult change can be. 

For me, change has and almost always has been a welcome event.  It allows me to clear out the old and begin anew.  For a few select family members who will remain nameless, repairing a wood chew on the old home's log wall made by the family dog was monumental.  The chew marks were a memory indicative of this family member's place in the world at a significant time in their life.  So what if the wood chew had now been on that existing piece of wood for 13 years and that dog had long since gone to hunting heaven.  Forget that I was spitting mad and wanted to give that dog away shortly after that event.  That is not what was remembered, but the memory evoked of a small cute puppy that loved to run and play and every so often chew a wood wall. Eradicating the evidence of a puppy chewn log wall meant change and a time of uncertainty to come. 

After the explosion regarding the wall, I began to look at the change of moving with a gentler and more compassionate eye.  Originally the move for me meant saving 2 hours a day in drive time, now I had to take in consideration a change in personal space, who will sit with whom on the new bus route, one less bathroom... who should go first?  I was reminded of one of my favorite quotes from the renowned Mahatma Gandhi, "You must be the change you want to see in the world."  More than just a quote, I began to act differently towards my spouse, children and even the dog.  Instead of assuring them that this is a good thing and giving them my pro/con list, I started putting myself in their places and tried to visualize the change through their eyes.  I became the eyes of an eight, eleven and fourteen year old.  I slowly refocused my lens as I moved up the age brackets.  I wanted to be the change agent! 

"You must be the change you want to see in the world." Mahatma Gandhi

In order to be a change agent, I needed to take stock of what the resistance factors were.  Instead of fixing, I listened to their fears, dreams of seeing their parents grow old in that home, leaving friends at the lake, moving farther from grandma and her homemade chocolate chips cookies,  living in chaos while the new house was finished and yes, the anxiety of who will sit where on the new bus route.  I acknowledged and shared my own anxieties and fears revealing my own humanity to my children. I shared of my own life changing moving experience as an 11 year old when we moved up on the other side of the highway.  That highway might as well been three states away from my childhood friends.   I believe they saw me in that moment, not as their mother, but as another human being with real feelings, insecurities and apprehension about the unknown.

Life experience has taught me that change allows for new experiences, living a little on the edge, and taking more risks assures us in some way that we are truly alive.  Additionally, the change of locations allowed us as a family a time to take stock and prioritize what it is that is worthy of keeping and discard those items that have since been dust collectors, giving them re-birth in someone else's home.  Due to the reduction in square footage, it was no longer possible to hold on to items with little nostalgia or productivity factors.  Lin Yutang wrote; "besides the noble art of getting things done, there is a nobler art of leaving things undone&The wisdom of life consists in the elimination of nonessentials."  If this is true, we were gaining wisdom one room at a time as we slowly sorted, boxed and disposed of nonessential items.  Funny, I haven't missed a thing. 

"Besides the noble art of getting things done, there is a nobler art of leaving things undone... The wisdom of life consists in the elimination of nonessentials." Lin Yutang

Moving has taught me more about change and "becoming the change I want to see in the world."  I've thought about the world more and about the simple yet powerful quote from Ghandi.  I've been a better listener, trying to understand and be more empathetic regarding other's feelings and life's circumstances.  I've realized that we are all more alike than we are different. 

Recently at bedtime, I was reminded that change and acceptance happens in our own time.  That certain nameless family member called me into their bedroom and said; "mom, I guess wherever we are as a family and God is the head of our house, that will be our home."  Hmm.  Those words sounded all too familiar and to hear them echoed back to me was hope that I too "can be the change I want to see in the world."  
 
Many blessings heading your way for a simple and memorable holiday season.
Renee' Wall Rongen

Stumped for a Holiday Gift?
MEMORY JAR

Can't think of a special gift this year... How about a MEMORY JAR?  A simple gift from the heart will sure to evoke memories and smiles from those that receive it! 

How To:
Find any jar with a cover or make a cover from fabric.  Decorate the jar with paper, ribbons, bows, drawings, etc... Cut small strips of paper and write as many memories of the person you are giving the jar to.  Use one strip of paper for each memory.  Drop them into to the jar, seal and gift wrap.  Watch the smiles as your gift is unwrapped and the memories are read.  A great gift idea for the whole family. Grandparents, parents, aunts and uncles love this gift!  Inexpensive and the gift is a gift that keeps on giving.  Be creative and have fun with this one!

More gift ideas
What about an autographed copy of Renee's heirloom holiday book, "Grandy's Quilt... A Gift For All Seasons" or a whimsical metal bookmark or wine gift tag?  Shop for Christmas today at http://www.reneerongen.com/html/grandy.cfm

Renee' is an international humorist/inspirational keynote speaker and author. Her hilarious messages are great for Associations, Women's Events, Kick Off and Closing of events, after dinner entertainment.   For more information regarding booking her for your next event, please visit her website at www.reneerongen.com or contact her office at 1-888-333-2802.