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Greetings!

Deborah Wuehler and family

With Mother's Day around the corner, I wanted to say to my fellow mothers, "You have been honored with a high calling!" Mothers are created to meet every need of spirit, soul, and body in their little ones, and accountable to point them toward their Creator. There is no greater job in the Universe! But this job of motherhood is not always so glorious, and mothers need rest. Here is what I wrote last Mother's Day and it still resounds today: 

I have a splitting headache yet I have three sick children to care for. I have a child who is not cooperating. I have a toddler who wants me to play baseball, and teenagers who want to talk. It's after 7 pm and I need to make dinner. I have a house that looks like a tornado hit, and I don't know where to start, let alone when. I certainly don't feel very virtuous. And, nobody cares about any of it but me. At least that's how it feels sometimes, doesn't it? It feels like nobody cares about all that I do, about how I feel, or when I'll ever get rest. Welcome to motherhood. Doesn't sound all that glorious, does it?

The functions of motherhood are obviously important, but the main thing is that we give all glory to our God by how we respond to all these things that press on us. Giving Him glory in our everyday lives is what our children will remember and what matters for eternity. God will not say, "Well done-you were a good mother." But He will hopefully say, "Well done, you were a good and faithful servant and you made my Son known to those I gave you."

Whenever we place too much importance on our office as mothers and our sacrificial tasks, the danger is that our focus becomes skewed and our emotions entangled. We begin to feel we deserve to be treated well rather than the better focus of treating others the way we want to be treated. We feel we deserve recognition for our sacrifices rather than laying down our lives in response to the One who was made of no reputation and laid down His life for us. We feel we deserve celebration rather than pointing heavenward and saying that all glory must belong to Him, for there is no one who is good, not even one person.

If we make it through one day on our own strength, we feel the right to shout, "Bravo!" But more often than not, our strength fails and we come to the end of our resources before we come to the end of the day. But if His strength is made perfect in our weaknesses and the excellence of His power has filled our earthen vessels, we can not only make it through a day, but come out victorious and we shout "Hallelujah!"

So what is the danger of just one day of focusing on ourselves? For one thing, if all of these earthly "rights" of celebration are not met satisfactorily in our eyes, we are disappointed and sometimes even angry with those we are called to love and serve. However, if all is done for Him and through Him and with Him, then any day is worthy of celebration because it is He whom we celebrate. We can avoid all the trappings of anger and disappointment when we are not celebrated as we think we ought to be, and all the glory which rightly belongs to God is rightly given Him. For truly without Him, we can do nothing. We celebrate Mother's Day because of the God who made and sustains mothers.

Our Father in heaven cares about us and our need for rest, and He continually implores us to come to Him and find rest for our weary souls. But we must come.

A friend said to me today, "Plan the calm" and I couldn't agree more: plan the calm by planning to spend time with your Father. Then, you will be the virtuous mother you desire to be and God will get the glory.

~Deborah

P.S. In our new May issue, Kendra Fletcher of Preschoolers and Peace wrote a wonderful piece on rest for weary moms, right here. 

~~~

Diana Waring

When I began homeschooling in 1985, I was naively oblivious of the timecommitment I was taking on--twenty years! But that was focused almost immediately, as I discovered that being a homeschool mom tends to be a 24/7 career. Our kids are always there, always needing something to be fixed, explained, picked up, or cooked. Now, don't get me wrong--there are amazing benefits to this job that money can't begin to buy. But there are a few things that can make a real difference in whether you are able to finish what you have started. One of them is giving yourself permission to go "off-duty" at times.

For me, one of the lifesavers of homeschooling was the hour-long quiet time we had after lunch. Once the dirty dishes hit the sink, we would each go to our rooms to sit on our beds! (You're dubious, right? But your wrigglers are no wigglier than mine, and you are already training them to sit for meals and church and car rides. We just took one more step.) As long as the activity was quiet, each of us could do what we liked. For some, it was the perfect time to build with Legos, for others, it was a treasured free reading time. For me, I could rest, read, chat on the phone, or contemplate new thoughts over a cup of coffee--ALL BY MYSELF. If you can picture an oasis in the desert or see yourself in a Thomas Kinkade painting, you will know how much I valued this daily break. 

Once a week, I also had a time-out--an inexpensive date--with my husband, while a friend baby-sat. Sometimes we just walked and talked, other times we dined and discussed. It was refreshing, renewing, and often exactly what was needed to give me much-needed perspective for the job.

And, for a time, I was scheduling a once-a-month visit at a lovely tea shop with a homeschooling friend. What insight and encouragement came from those times, when we would discover that, as moms, our unique problems weren't all that unusual.

I know that nowadays, interaction with other homeschoolers is as close as your Internet connection.  But the luxury of tea served in a china cup with a precious friend to share it, and the mini-vacation aspect of a few hours away, still makes it richer and more deeply refreshing than our daily face-time with a computer screen.

Daily, weekly, monthly . . . taking time for restoration and renewal is time well spent.  It will pay huge dividends for you and your family because the old saying happens to be true: "If Mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy."

Stay relational!

Diana

P.S. If you are looking for a way to save time while increasing your kids' enjoyment of school, check out my web page. We've been hearing some amazing stories from satisfied (and refreshed) customers!!