This week, Isaac and Rebecca are blessed with twin sons, Esau and Jacob. As they grow up, Esau develops talents as an outdoorsman, a hunter and gatherer, while Jacob is more "studious" (as the tradition interprets) and a home-body. Isaac is taken with Esau and Rebecca has a very close relationship with Jacob. However, it seems as if there is a rift in the household as the Rebecca-Esau and Isaac-Jacob relationships appear to be very distant. The result of this family dynamic is the deception, lying, and other problems which I listed above. Rebecca instructs Jacob to deceive his now blind father Isaac, pose as Esau, and steal the firstborn blessing from his older brother Esau: the inheritance of the tradition of God and leadership of the clan. These events come from a source much deeper than simple favoritism. Had Isaac and Rebecca been able to see beyond their limited expectations and desires for their children and see them for who they really were, it is possible that this trickery perpetrated by Jacob at the behest of Rebecca would not have occurred, or, perhaps, Jacob would have come into the role of patriarch in a much more morally palatable way. Had Rebecca cherished and celebrated Esau's identity and talents, with Isaac doing the same for Jacob, the family may not have been forced apart and a feud begun between two twin brothers.

Very early on in the Torah, we are taught that each and every human being is created b'tzelem Elohim/in the image of God. Since God does not have a physical manifestation, that statement cannot mean that we all "look like" God. Rather, as we learn from what we read about God throughout the Bible, God is a diverse being. And the beauty of humanity being created in God's image is that each of us has characteristics and talents in varying areas, all accentuating one of the aspects of God's diverse image. It is critical that we not superimpose a "cookie-cutter" vision onto children, hoping to change them into someone that they are not. That will only lead to frustration for everyone involved. We must, instead, meet children where they are, see them for who they are, and celebrate, validate, and accentuate their unique talents and characteristics, while we support them in areas that require extra assistance. We are all different, and successful and vibrant communities allow individuals to come together and contribute from their areas of strength, instead of going to the effort to make everyone the same.

We all learn from the successes that we have in life. However, there is much greater potential for learning when we examine our mistakes. It is for this reason that our Torah and tradition tell us stories that include mistakes made by our ancestors. Isaac and Rebecca teach us the important lesson of needing to see and teach our children for who they are. This message is instructive for all of us parents and also serves as a vision of children that informs how our teachers interact with and meet the needs of students at Vancouver Talmud Torah each and every day.

Rabbi Matthew Bellas

Vice Principal of Judaic Studies/School Rabbi