Is It Better to Give or Receive? 
When I woke up this morning, this question came into my mind. I thought about this Season and how we get so caught up in the actions of 'DOing'. So many of the people that I see on a regular basis are telling me how stressed out there are. If this Season is about giving, well - it looks like people are pushing themselves to the edge in an attempt to give something to another. Do you find yourself doing this?
What I'm talking about here moves beyond the Christmas Season. How many times will you be there for someone else if they need you at the expense of doing something for yourself? Do you answer the phone even though you are really too busy to talk? Do you stay late for your boss even though you know you are worn out? Do you say, "yes" when you really want to say "no" - to your children? Your spouse? Your mother? Your friends? If you do this, you may not really be 'giving' at all, because you probably don't have much left to give in the first place. Think about what it feels like to be on the receiving end when someone else gives to you from this place. You can feel it, can't you?
Remeber what they tell you on the airplane when they go over the rules and talk about the "unexpected loss of cabin pressure"? They remind you to put your oxygen mask on first before helping others. You know why. Because you can't help someone else if you aren't in adequate condition to do so. How often do you follow that rule when you are on the ground?
Whether it is better to give or receive is not about better, but is really about your place of intention. You probably would not put an empty box with a pretty bow on it under the tree. So, it is important that you not become like the empty box that looks good on the outside, but doesn't have anything left on the inside. You may think I'm being compassionately ruthless here and you are right. I know that you would feel better when you are filling yourself up first.
During this time of year when the Christmas cards show pictures of families happily sitting together in homes by the fireplace and you are feeling as fried as a fast food menu item, see if you can't find at least one way that you can give to yourself this week. Can you take a few moments in the morning to journal? Begin a gratitude list. Light a candle while you cook a dinner. Blast your favorite tune and danced around silly. Can you tell yourself it is okay not to answer the phone for a day or an hour? Can you (here's a big one) turn off your cell phone one evening? See if you can go one day without checking email. Tell someone you love them. Look in the mirror and tell yourself you love you. Go ahead and put on your oxygen mask first. Then, you will have plenty of you to share with others during the Holidays and beyond.
Email me, I'd love to hear what YOU did!
Heal your heart and cut away the karmic cord of the past.
