Are You Willing to Be Happy?

A number of years ago, I attended a spiritually based retreat. During the evening session, I became brave enough - or maybe it was desperate enough to stand up and share my 'story'. I spoke of the many woes in my life and how it wasn't looking the way I had hoped it would look. When I had finished this 10 - 15 minute monologue, I got quiet and the retreat leader, a famous best selling author, simply sat there. His eyes were closed for what felt like forever. Of course, I wondered if I had overwhelmed him with my problems? Then he said six words that I will never forget. It was the only thing he said to me in response to all of my sharing. He asked, "Are you willing to be happy?" I will admit that it took me what felt like an hour, to sort through the numerous excuses that came flying into my brain about how he didn't understand what I'd said and that 'of course I wanted to be happy'. But, he didn't ask if that was what I wanted, he had asked if I was, "willing". Oh my!

Over the years I have shared this question in sessions as well as with friends and more often than not find that most people don't consciously think about their own happiness. In 16 years of professionally counseling people I have found that people would rather live in the backgrounds of their lives, seek happiness through addictions such as shopping, eating and/or substance, stay in unhappy marriages, and get up each day to go to work in a job they know doesn't fit for them, all out of fear. The fear that I would hear most often was either related to 'guilt' ' and/or a fear of appearing selfish. Why are so many people unwilling to be happy? Is it selfish to "put on your oxygen mask before helping others", as they say on the airplane? If not, why not?

What could you do this week that would bring you to a place of feeling happy, no matter what your current circumstances? Do you know what makes you happy?

1) You may want to start by making a list for yourself. Then choose one thing and take action on it this week. See how good you will feel for having done something for you!

2) Also, be aware that the food you eat can easily affect your mood. Eating foods such as sugary snacks and caffeine can quickly raise and lower your blood sugar levels, easily effecting your mood. Choose foods that your great great grandmother ate and you will be choosing something healthy.

3) Lastly, notice that sometimes it isn't that good things aren't happening in our lives, we have simply placed too much focus on what wasn't working rather than being grateful for what was. Notice one thing that brings you happiness each day before you go to bed and smile.

Give these steps a try, ask yourself the "willingness" question and you will be taking the first step on your journey to a happier and healthier life.