The recollection of an injury is . . . a rusty arrow and poison for the soul. ~ St. Francis of Paolo

To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you. ~ Lewis B. Smedes 

Matthew 6

14 For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. 15 But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins

Matthew 18

21 Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, "Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?"   22 Jesus answered, "I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times

None of us would question that one of the hardest and yet most important spiritual acts is forgiving someone who has deeply wronged us. We human beings can find all sorts of reasons for not forgiving someone, especially where the wrong done us is truly grievous.

Here in the Matthew 6 text we have one of the most unsettling truths of Christian belief and practice...God will not forgive us if we do not forgive others. My experience is that far too many believers are unaware of this particular statement from Jesus. The point here is that when we are unwilling to forgive others, we are putting up a spiritual roadblock to God's forgiveness for us. The heart which remains filled with resentment and hostility toward another person is not a heart open to God's presence or God's offerings. Additionally, to be unwilling to forgive someone else is to reveal an unrepentant spirit and forgiveness, as I noted last week, depends on our honest confessional nature.  

The quotes from St. Francis of Paolo and Lewis Smedes remind us of another spiritual aspect of being unwilling to forgive. . . we're the one hurt most of all. We allow emotional poison to flood our soul. We find ourselves prisoner to continuing anger and hard-headedness. The other person may or may not care whether forgiveness is offered; but we certainly pay a dear price.

Now forgiving another person does not mean that we allow unhealthy or abusive behavior to occur. Lewis Smedes in his thoughtful work The Art of Forgiving notes three essential truths about forgiveness:

(1)     Forgiving someone does not mean tolerating intolerable behavior

(2)     Forgiving someone does not mean a relationship can or should be restored

(3)     Forgiving someone does not mean they aren't held accountable for their actions.

Whether this is an issue for you personally or not at this time, my guess is you know someone for whom it is. We do well for our own spiritual condition and for helping others with theirs to note and receive these insights on forgiveness.