Think about it. You start life as the center of attention, lying there in your mother?s arms, incapable of taking care of yourself. As you grow older, through your pre-teen and teenage years you develop and cultivate a circle of friends, your peers, people with similar backgrounds, opinions and emotions.

But look what?s happened in the intervening years. You?ve become a provider; you?ve entered your productive years. You have developed a sphere of influence. A sphere because it extends in all directions - young and old; multiple cities, states, and countries; multiple races and religions; professions and interests galore. Influence because you have developed your relationships, learned how to ask for help, learned how to offer help and connect people with the resources in your sphere, and learned how to connect your sphere with others. What you have really learned is that it?s not about who you know, it?s about what you know and who knows you.

You are the nexus of that sphere, both the center and the link between all the points on the surface. As such, you have a couple of challenges. One is to grow your sphere of influence in a way that makes sense for your business and life. The other is that such structures are not self-supporting and require constant maintenance. The way you manage your sphere is very important. We must each optimize our sphere: a size and texture that fits our goals and nature. It?s a full-time job, and a measure of the person.

Take it seriously because, as you grow older, that sphere of influence will slowly become merely a circle of friends. And, over time, that circle will slowly shrink until, finally, you will again be the center of attention.

At the end of life how do you want to be remembered?

A couple of people I network with recommended Jeffrey Gitomer's Little Red Book of Selling to me. So I bought it and I read it. I usually try the things recommended by people I respect. This is a great book and one that can be revisited again and again. Even though we know what we should do to build and maintain relationships with our prospects and customers, we sometimes don't do it.

The other books I often recommend to people are E-Myth Revisited by Michael Gerber and Selling the Invisible by Harry Beckwith.

I was talking with someone who said he was uncomfortable talking to strangers at networking events. He asked me why it was so easy for me. I told him I still get a knot in my stomach every time I have to start a conversation, it's just not as big as it used to be. A famous performer, when asked if he got nervous before a performance replied "Of course I do. I have butterflies like anyone else. The trick is to get them to fly in formation!" Use that nervous energy to your advantage.